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Monday, November 2, 2015

Get Free Food and Booze Tomorrow Courtesy of Willie Brown

Posted By on Mon, Nov 2, 2015 at 1:39 PM

THOMAS HAWK/FLICKR
  • Thomas Hawk/Flickr
If you’re looking for an Election Day open bar and free snacks, Mayor-for-life Willie Brown has invited the entire city to John’s Grill tomorrow, where lunch, drinks, and joie de vivre are on him.

As SFist pointed out, Brown dropped his invite casually in yesterday’s “Willie’s World” column in the Chronicle:

We’ll have Ellis Street blocked off from noon to 2 p.m. The food and the drinks are on us and the restaurant. No speeches, no campaigning and no fights.

Who will be there? Political writers, political consultants who overcharge for their mailers, ad buyers, ex-officeholders, current officeholders and officeholder wannabes.

A lot of them will be a bit on the nervous side, waiting for what the Elections Department has to say starting at around 8:45 p.m. For those of us on the sidelines, we’ll enjoy the full two hours.

If yesterday's column is any indication, the District 3 showdown between Aaron Peskin and Supervisor Julie Christensen is on Brown's mind these days, as is allegations of voter fraud in Chinatown.

"It used to be that the public housing projects were where suspicions of voting shenanigans were focused. It’s where all the black folk lived, and of course you know how easy it is to take advantage of them," Brown wrote. 

Head to John's Grill tomorrow for more sharp Willie wit and wisdom.





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Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Cops to Hand Out Free Shopping Bags at Blessing Scam Public Safety Event

Posted By on Tue, Nov 18, 2014 at 8:24 AM

Seeing how the Chinese community is continuing to get ripped off by crooks in the well-known Blessing Scam, the cops are hosting a public safety event Thursday to try one more time to get the message across to people: don't give anyone your valuables to be "blessed."

And if anything will help the community learn this lesson, it's free tote bags.

As you might recall last year, the cops hosted a similar public safety event, coaching the Chinese community on this insidious scam where criminals dupe innocent Chinese woman into giving them all their money and valuables to be "blessed." If the valuables aren't "blessed" then bad spirits will plague their family, the crooks tell their victims.

At last year's event, the District Attorney handed out free tote bags to the attendees — and it was those free bags that became the main takeaway from the very important event. 

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Monday, April 15, 2013

Tax Day Is Here, Go Get All Your Free Crap While Hating on the 1 Percent

Posted By on Mon, Apr 15, 2013 at 8:15 AM

When it's free
  • When it's free

We can't really blame you for spending the weekend hiking or drinking in the sun instead of indoors crunching numbers for your taxes -- that's what accountants are for, right? But sadly, your fun in the sun has come to an end, and so has your time to procrastinate paying the government.

Fortunately, for your dawdlers, some local post offices are going to stay open late (being paid by our taxes) to assist all of you who can't seem to get their shit together before Tax Day.

The sooner you file away, then sooner you can start collecting your rewards, which includes free fries and a massage.

See Also: Trojan Makes Doing Taxes Pleasurable

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Friday, April 12, 2013

Get Off Your Lazy Round Rump and Walk to Work Today

Posted By on Fri, Apr 12, 2013 at 7:30 AM

Financial District hotshot walks to work today
  • Financial District hotshot walks to work today

If you've been feeling kinda fat and lazy as of late, then today is your day. Not only is it Friday (the last day of the week that you'll have to wait until 5 p.m. to start Happy Hour), but it's also Walk to Work Day, which is exactly what it sounds like.

Today, San Francisco will be the first city in the nation to officially celebrate Walk to Work Day where our city leaders, including Mayor Ed Lee, and hopefully you, will abandon your car, bike, and bus ride and make your way to work with the greenest mode of transportation out there -- your two legs.

And yes, free java is involved.

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Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Trojan Makes Doing Taxes Pleasurable, Doles out Free Vibrators for Tax Day

Posted By on Wed, Apr 10, 2013 at 9:05 AM

Tax Day is coming, and you should, too
  • Tax Day is coming, and you should, too

If you're looking for a good reason to get your taxes done this year -- other than getting screwed by the IRS -- here's something that might stimulate you.


On Friday April 12 from 12 p.m. to 4 p.m., Trojan will be handing out free vibrators at The Box in the  seedy heart of SOMA. Finally, a way to make doing taxes enjoyable.

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Friday, January 11, 2013

Here's How to Keep Your Badly Behaved Pup From Making It Onto Dogshaming.com

Posted By on Fri, Jan 11, 2013 at 8:56 AM

Of course you were stoked to find the adorable pup with a bow around its neck under your Christmas tree. But as the New Year kicks in (and it has kicked pretty hard), so does the reality of owning a new pet.

That reality comes in the form of dog shit on your carpet and a cat that's clawing away at your new sofa as you read this.

So what do you do? Don't take the pet back -- that would make you a horrible person.

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Friday, December 28, 2012

Muni Celebrates Its 100th Birthday With Free Rides

Posted By on Fri, Dec 28, 2012 at 7:19 AM

The poster is for sale, by the way - COURTESY OF MUNI
  • Courtesy of Muni
  • The poster is for sale, by the way

You might not like Muni but maybe you like free stuff. If you do like riding Muni and you just so happen to love getting free things, then today is your day.

In honor of its 100th birthday, cash-strapped Muni is forgoing its need for, well, cash and doling out free rides to all passengers until 5 a.m. on Saturday.

That's kinda like losing your job and your home, then buying a round of drinks for everyone at the bar.

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Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Black Friday: Here Are Some Apps to Help Brave Consumers Navigate San Francisco

Posted By on Tue, Nov 20, 2012 at 1:00 PM

An empty basket? Is she really American?
  • An empty basket? Is she really American?

Black Friday, a true American holiday, is quickly approaching, which means countless obnoxious consumers with credit cards will make their way to Union Square to get their hands on the best deals.

The only thing that could make this experience less painful is technology. So check out these smartphone apps that will help you navigate brave the San Francisco shopping centers, whisking you away from your driveway and placing you into a parking spot with the same kind of ease you experience in the suburbs.

See also: San Francisco Will Have the Worst Thanksgiving Traffic in the Nation

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Friday, October 26, 2012

World Series: SPCA Giving Away Giants-Colored Animals

Posted By on Fri, Oct 26, 2012 at 12:16 PM

Matt Cain fan - NUENA PHOTOGRAPHY/COURTESY OF THE SPCA
  • Nuena Photography/Courtesy of the SPCA
  • Matt Cain fan

Nobody is celebrating the Giants' double win like the orange-and-black-colored dogs and cats over at the San Francisco SPCA. The team's winning streak makes it all that more likely that these animals will find a loving home.

The shelter tells us they are giving away all animals with orange and black markings as a way to celebrate the Giants while also enticing folks to come down to the shelter and take one of these adorable animals off their hands.

The Giants pride promotion will continue until the last game is played (in other words, when the Giants win).

See also: World Series Game 2: It's Such a Perfect Day

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Would You Eat a Matt Cain Pizza?

Posted By on Fri, Oct 26, 2012 at 7:15 AM

Here's your chance to eat Matt Cain - PAXTI'S PIZZA
  • Paxti's Pizza
  • Here's your chance to eat Matt Cain
So you didn't score tickets to the World Series games. Big deal. You can still probably score some free pizza.

Patxi's Pizza is offering Giants fans a chance to get pizza and win a signed Matt Cain jersey when they order up a piping hot pie online anytime during the World Series.

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