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Tuesday, June 2, 2015

Here's Your Official Mission Moratorium Drinking Game

Posted By , and on Tue, Jun 2, 2015 at 9:00 AM

click to enlarge Pick your poison. It's gonna be a long night. - JULIA CARRIE WONG
  • Julia Carrie Wong
  • Pick your poison. It's gonna be a long night.

The San Francisco political apocalypse is finally here. Today at 3:00 p.m. the full Board of Supervisors will consider Supervisor David Campos' proposal for a moratorium on new market-rate housing development in the Mission district. Campos has the support of at least four other Supervisors (Jane Kim, Eric Mar, John Avalos, and Norman Yee) and many community groups and affordable housing advocates. The opposition is being led by Supervisors Scott Wiener and Mark Farrell and includes the San Francisco Housing Action Coalition and the SF Bay Area Renters Federation (SF BARF). Supervisors Julie Christensen, London Breed, Katy Tang, and Malia Cohen's votes hang in the balance. 

Both sides are planning to rally the troops in advance of the epic showdown. The anti-moratorium forces will meet on the steps of City Hall at 11:00 a.m. The pro-moratorium forces will take their place at 1:30 p.m. Public comment is likely to last well into the evening. If you can't make it, you'l be able to watch on SFGovTV.

Nothing brings out the worst in San Franciscans faster than a debate on housing. The pro-development forces are almost unfailingly patronizing and smug about their supposedly superior grasp of economics. The pro-moratorium forces frequently slip into nativer-than-thou-i-ness. Both sides are absolutely positively sure that the other side is absolutely positively wrong. 

In honor of what is likely to be an all-night marathon of outrage, depression, and outright farce, we present The Snitch's Official Mission Moratorium Drinking Game. Sometimes you have to take a sip. Sometimes you have to take a shot. (Please do not take a shot every time you hear the words "supply and demand" you will die and that is not our goal.) You might not learn anything, but you'll definitely get drunk. 

  • Someone says, "Supply and demand." — ONE SIP

  • Someone says, "It's not a moratorium, it's a pause." — ONE SIP

  • Someone mentions Ron Conway — ONE SIP

  • Someone mentions Airbnb — 'SHARE' SOMEONE ELSE'S BEER

  • Someone accuses SFBARF of being an astroturf group — BUY SOMEONE ELSE A DRINK

  • Someone says, "Housing at all levels." — ONE SIP

  • Someone brings up the Elbo Room or the Lexington — POUR ONE OUT

  • A supervisor leaves the room — ONE SIP

  • The guy that sings, sings. — DRINK A GLASS OF WATER, PEOPLE

  • Supervisor Jane Kim yawns — ONE SIP

  • Supervisor London Breed kind of loses her temper a little — ONE SIP

  • Political gadfly Michael Petrelis groans audibly — ONE SIP

  • A supervisor falls asleep — TWO SHOTS

  • Supervisor David Campos brings up Ronald Reagan — TRICKLE ONE SHOT DOWN YOUR THROAT

  • Supervisor Eric Mar takes a selfie — ONE SHOT

  • Supervisor Mark Farrell says something. Literally anything. — ONE SHOT

  • Supervisor Scott Wiener expresses concern that he might be assaulted — FLEE THE ROOM, TAKE ONE SHOT

  • Someone self-identifies as a "native San Franciscan" — ONE SHOT

  • Someone self-identifies as a second-generation San Franciscan — TWO SHOTS

  • Someone self-identifies as third-generation San Franciscan — THREE SHOTS

  • Someone self-identifies as fourth-generation San Franciscan — FOUR SHOTS AND GET OUT OF MY BACKYARD

  • Scott Wiener takes great umbrage at someone criticizing a tech worker who makes 2x as much money as you do — ONE SHOT

  • Supervisor David Campos proposes a moratorium on the expansion and eventual heat death of the universe — FINISH THE BOTTLE 

  • Mayor Ed Lee makes an appearance — LOL YOU'RE DRUNK GO TO BED 
Leave your suggestions for additional categories in the comments. 


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About The Authors

Peter Lawrence Kane

Bio:
Peter Lawrence Kane is SF Weekly's Arts Editor. He has lived in San Francisco since 2008 and is two-thirds the way toward his goal of visiting all 59 national parks.

Julia Carrie Wong

Bio:
Julia Carrie Wong's work has appeared in numerous local and national titles including 48hills, Salon, In These Times, The Nation, and The New Yorker.

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