Get SF Weekly Newsletters

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

The Complete Text of Ron Conway's Rant at the Next Big Thing Summit

Posted By on Tue, Jun 10, 2014 at 1:08 PM

click to enlarge Ron Conway - VIA WIKIMEDIA
  • via Wikimedia
  • Ron Conway

Maybe you missed it yesterday, but well-known Venture Capitalist Ron Conway lost his cool at the "Next Big Thing" Summit. More specifically, he shouted at fellow venture capitalist Chamath Palihapitiya who was criticizing corporate San Francisco along with Mayor Ed Lee.

We got the full transcript of Conway's diatribe for your reading pleasure:

How dare you criticize San Francisco! How DARE you!

Criticizing a city, a whole city, is completely out of bounds. I've never heard of anything so shocking in my life. I can't believe you could stand here, in polite company, and spew your foul criticisms about one of America's great cities.

You'll never hear San Franciscans say a mean word about Cleveland, or Houston.

These things you're saying, they're lies. LIES! San Francisco has no homeless people. And even if it did, the tech sector would be on the verge of solving it. And even if it weren't, Ed Lee would be resolving the matter without any help from the tech sector.

That's Ed Lee. He's our MAYOR. How can you possibly criticize a city's MAYOR. The man is an ELECTED OFFICIAL. He was elected with over 50 percent of the vote. And over 150 percent of the Chinese vote. His integrity is impeccable. Beyond reproach. He's like George Washington, if Washington had promised never to fight the revolutionary war or be president and then did all those things anyway because the Marquis de Lafayette started an independent expenditure committee.

The point is the ethics committee would never have convicted him of chopping down that cherry tree. And if they had, they only would have leveled a small fine!

Okay, I regret making that comparison now, but you're still way out of order.

There's not a single San Franciscan who feels like they're being pushed out of their homes by the tech industry. Not one. And if there were, they could just share somebody else's home. Because that's what having a phone means. And even if it doesn't, Mayor Lee has promised to build 30,000 new homes, some of which will be affordable before they're not. And Ed Lee has never lied to any ... well, let's not go there again.

I challenge you to find even one person who feels like they're being forced out of San Francisco ... just one ... who can get past my appointments secretary. No such person exists.

But it's not your lies that bother me, or the way you needlessly trashed a great American city by reading its budgets and accurately commenting upon them. No, it's the way you needlessly brought Mayor Ed Lee into this. A fine, upstanding, public servant. Just look at him. Look at how dignified he is. And strong. Look at the way his teeth are so white and perfect. Look at the way his coat is so soft and well groomed. I'll have you know this is a mayor who sits still for hours until commanded to speak, even if you balance a treat on his nose!

Do you know how much an independent expenditure committee costs in this town? BACK OFF!

Benjamin Wachs is a literary chameleon


  • Pin It

About The Author

Benjamin Wachs

Suggested Reading

Comments


Comments are closed.

Popular Stories

  1. Most Popular Stories
  2. Stories You Missed

Like us on Facebook

Slideshows

  • clipping at Brava Theater Sept. 11
    Sub Pop recording artists 'clipping.' brought their brand of noise-driven experimental hip hop to the closing night of 2016's San Francisco Electronic Music Fest this past Sunday. The packed Brava Theater hosted an initially seated crowd that ended the night jumping and dancing against the front of the stage. The trio performed a set focused on their recently released Sci-Fi Horror concept album, 'Splendor & Misery', then delved into their dancier and more aggressive back catalogue, and recent single 'Wriggle'. Opening performances included local experimental electronic duo 'Tujurikkuja' and computer music artist 'Madalyn Merkey.'"