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Wednesday, September 18, 2013

An Ignominious Day for Arkansas

Posted By on Wed, Sep 18, 2013 at 7:59 AM

click to enlarge Staying on the farm, not going to The Farm...
  • Staying on the farm, not going to The Farm...

Yesterday was a day that will live in infamy -- for residents of The Natural State

Sadly, the natural state of Arkansas students won't be going to Stanford. On Sept. 17, Stanford University announced the composition of its incoming class. Its 1,679 students are drawn from 67 countries and "every corner of the United States." 

Well, not every corner. 

Freshmen hail from 49 states. You know which one they don't. 

So, there'll be no late-night dorm discussions about this guy who transformed his minivan into the space shuttle. There will be no chemically fueled debates about the injustice of the 1987 decision rendering the south Arkansas vine ripe tomato the "official state fruit and vegetable." Those drifting into the dining commons during a Sunday Morning Coming Down moment (a song penned by Texan-born Kris Kristofferson but popularized by Arkansas native Johnny Cash) will never realize they're working off their well-earned hangovers with the official state beverage of Arkansas

Arkansas natives, however, can still hold their heads high. 

Their state, after all, produces nearly half the nation's rice. Founded in 1832, Hot Springs National Park is the nation's oldest (and you thought it was Yellowstone). The Buffalo National River was, for whatever reason, the first river to be so designated. These things can't be taken away! 

Finally, at least for the next year, no additional Arkansans need feel shame and embarrassment after watching the following immutable historical moment: 

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About The Author

Joe Eskenazi

Joe Eskenazi

Joe Eskenazi was born in San Francisco, raised in the Bay Area, and attended U.C. Berkeley. He never left. "Your humble narrator" was a staff writer and columnist for SF Weekly from 2007 to 2015. He resides in the Excelsior with his wife, 4.3 miles from his birthplace and 5,474 from hers.


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