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Monday, April 15, 2013

Tax Day Is Here, Go Get All Your Free Crap While Hating on the 1 Percent

Posted By on Mon, Apr 15, 2013 at 8:15 AM

click to enlarge When it's free
  • When it's free

We can't really blame you for spending the weekend hiking or drinking in the sun instead of indoors crunching numbers for your taxes -- that's what accountants are for, right? But sadly, your fun in the sun has come to an end, and so has your time to procrastinate paying the government.

Fortunately, for your dawdlers, some local post offices are going to stay open late (being paid by our taxes) to assist all of you who can't seem to get their shit together before Tax Day.

The sooner you file away, then sooner you can start collecting your rewards, which includes free fries and a massage.

See Also: Trojan Makes Doing Taxes Pleasurable

Here's a roundup of all the free things you will get today that might help make Tax Day a little less taxing.

  • Start the day with a movie and get free popcorn at AMC Theaters. You really need to stop crunching numbers and start crunching popcorn.

  • By now, you will need a good massage to break up all that Tax Day tension. Of course, you can't afford one, especially now. But you can afford one if you head over to Planet Fitness in Richmond where they'll massage away your money woes for free.

  • Now, it's time to emotionally eat (again). Finish your stressful day with a nice, free meal with American-style Chinese food at Panda Express.

  • And for dessert, you can stuff your face at Cinnabon where between 6 p.m. and 8 p.m., Cinnabon down at Tanforan Mall in San Bruno, will give you two free sugary, fatty bites.

Too bad you didn't do your taxes last week, because now might be a good time to go home to your free vibrator.

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About The Author

Erin Sherbert

Erin Sherbert

Erin Sherbert was the Online News Editor for SF Weekly from 2010 to 2015. She's a Texas native and has a closet full of cowboy boots to prove it.


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