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Friday, December 21, 2012

Here Are the 20 Dumbest Bay Area Crimes of 2012

Posted By on Fri, Dec 21, 2012 at 11:56 AM

  • Photo by Susana Bates via the Chronicle
  • Look who's busted!

The year 2012 was a pretty stellar one for San Francisco. If you doubt us for a second, just think no farther than the San Francisco Giants World Series win.

But amid the remarkable (sweeping baseball) moments -- like when the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence crashed Maricopa County, Ariz., Sheriff Joe Arpaio's dinner in S.F. -- there were definitely some unsavory characters who made headlines this year.

Some were sad, some were funny, and all were plain dumb.

It was difficult to narrow them down, but here you go, our pick of the top 20 dipshit crimes of 2012:

S.F. brothers are no Cleavers, but they would use cleavers on each other.
  • S.F. brothers are no Cleavers, but they would use cleavers on each other.

20. Brothers That Stab Each Other Together Go to Jail Together

Sibling rivalry took on a whole new meaning in San Francisco's North Beach neighborhood when two brothers were injured after allegedly stabbing each other in the head.

19. Man Gets Overheated with Rage, Tosses Hot Cooking Oil at Roommate

A 47-year-old man was in the hospital with serious burns on his face and wrists after his roommate tossed hot cooking oil at him during an early-morning fracas. Needless to say, these roommates got along like oil and water.

  • Steve Ruiz

18. Steve Ruiz, Elusive Hells Angel on the Lam, Finally Arrested in Funeral Killing

​San Jose Police say they caught up with 38-year-old Steve Ruiz in a Fremont motel, where he was arrested on suspicion of killing fellow Hells Angels member Steve Tausan.

17. Woman Allegedly Pulls a Gun on Next-Door Neighbor

This should make for an uncomfortable block party: The incident started when two women walked over to their neighbors apartment on the 3500 block of San Bruno Avenue to talk about money owed. A 55-year-old man opened the door and a verbal fight began. A woman inside the house heard the commotion, came to the door, and that's when the two suspects tried to push their way inside, according to police reports.


16. Hells Angels No Longer Satisfied with Blue Collar Crime

Josh Leo Johnson, vice president of the Sonoma chapter of the Hells Angels, will have to trade in his outlaw vest for a prison suit. The 36-year-old biker was sentenced to 12 months in prison after he admitted to participating in a major mortgage fraud scheme.

15. Wig-Wearing Bike Bandit Busted in the Upper Haight

On Jan. 19, officers saw a man casually riding a bike out of a garage on the 300 block of Broderick. According to Park Station police, it was clear the man had just cut the lock off the bike prior to riding off. However, when officers ordered him to stop, the man continued pedaling.

14. Accused Robber Tracked Down by GPS on Stolen iPhone

About 11 p.m., the victim was walking home from work on the 1600 block of Post Street when she was shocked by a stun gun. She fell to the ground, and the robber quickly took her belongings, including her iPhone, which was later used to bust him, according to police.

This isn't Tequila, but man, this dog is cute.
13. Angry Teen Arrested After Allegedly Biting, Punching His Dog Named Tequila
San Francisco Police Capt. Greg Corrales tells SF Weekly that a witness called the cops after he allegedly saw 18-year-old Tyler Anderson twice punch his female pit bull in the head, and then slam her against his car, which was parked near Fell and Clayton streets.

12. Shoplifting Mom Ditches 10-Year-Old Daughter to Take the Blame for Stolen Groceries

According to news reports, Marcy Keelin went to the Safeway store with her 10-year-old daughter where the two loaded up on food that they had no plans on paying for. When the cops arrived, mom left her daughter to explain the stolen food.

11. S.F. Inmates Say That Bruise Ross Mirkarimi Gave His Wife Is No Misdemeanor

We received a kind and thoughtful letter from prisoner Raymond Raymond, who penned his argument as to why "squeezing your lady's arm" is no misdemeanor. The letter, dated May 25, was CC'd to Mayor Ed Lee, informing the city's CEO that nearly everyone locked up behind bars supports Mirkarimi, who is trying desperately to hold onto his post as sheriff.

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About The Author

Erin Sherbert

Erin Sherbert

Erin Sherbert was the Online News Editor for SF Weekly from 2010 to 2015. She's a Texas native and has a closet full of cowboy boots to prove it.


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