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Wednesday, October 24, 2012

San Francisco Giants 2012 World Series Drinking Game

Posted By on Wed, Oct 24, 2012 at 12:26 PM

ALBERT SAMAHA
  • Albert Samaha

Seeing-eye singles, elimination games, Madison Bumgarner. In Giants baseball, before the joy comes the anguish and anxiety. If San Francisco wins the World Series, you already know it'll be a teeth-grinding, knee-shaking, hair-pulling operation. If the Giants lose, it'll just suck.

See also: 10 Ways to Prove You Are a Real Giants Fan

Either way, a drink may be helpful.

So here's one possible San Francisco Giants 2012 World Series Drinking Game:

Drink when...

An announcer: compares Marco Scutaro to Cody Ross. accidentally says "Melky" instead of "Miguel" mentions "$126 million." praises Brian Sabean. praises how Bruce Bochy "manages the bullpen." praises the Giants' defense or baserunning. calls the Giants "scrappy" or "misfits." notes the exact speed of Justin Verlander's fastball. tries to tie in a show promo with the game action. mentions the Auto Bailout (two drinks if an announcer uses the Tigers' rise as a metaphor for America's auto industry or vice versa). Any of the following is shown on TV: highlights from the 2002 or 2006 Word Series. highlights of Matt Cain's perfect game. replay of Buster Posey's Grand Slam against the Reds. replay of Matt Holliday taking out Scutaro on that slide. replay of Barry Zito's RBI bunt single. a commercial for an American car. Any of the following happens in the game: Giants score on a ground ball that doesn't leave the infield. Tigers hit a home run. Jose Mijares or Javier Lopez strikes someone out. someone over 220 lbs. gets a hit. the crowd chants "MVP." Buster Posey or Miguel Cabrera gets on base. Angel Pagan gets a triple or makes a diving catch. Austin Jackson strikes out. Gregor Blanco strikes out. someone with facial hair that would disqualify him from possessing any job other than the one he has gets a hit/registers an out. Any of the following people/places are mentioned or shown: Melky Cabrera Alex Rodriguez Kate Upton Carl Yastrzemski Cecil Fielder Mark Fidrych Hank Greenberg Magglio Ordonez Juan Marichal Will Clark Barry Bonds Lil Wayne Eminem Candlestick Park Briggs Stadium

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Albert Samaha

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