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Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Supervisor Scott Wiener to Introduce Legislation Forcing Nudists to Wear Clothes

Posted By on Tue, Oct 2, 2012 at 7:45 AM

click to enlarge Scott Wiener doesn't want to see your wiener anymore
  • Scott Wiener doesn't want to see your wiener anymore

The debate over public nudity has finally come to a head.

Supervisor Scott Wiener says he plans to introduce legislation later today that will seriously restrict public nudity in San Francisco. According to the plan, naked men (and women, if there are any) would no longer be allowed to flap freely in city plazas, parklets, sidewalks, streets, and public transit.

So basically, everywhere.

Nudity would be allowed at places and events where you go to see naked people -- Folsom Street Fair, Bay to Breakers, Pride parade, or your own backyard.

See also: Here's How S.F. Nudists Would Dress, if They Did Wear Clothes.

Wiener blames his draconian move on one too many wieners walking around. According to the District 8 supervisor, there's been a "sharp increase in public nudity in the Castro, including an almost-daily ad-hoc nudist colony at Jane Warner Plaza."

Per Wiener:

While most people in San Francisco, myself included, have no problem with occasional public nudity, we've seen a shift in public attitude because of the over-the-top situation at Jane Warner Plaza and elsewhere in the Castro. Until recently, public nudity in our city was mostly limited to various street festivals and beaches as well as the occasional naked person wandering the streets.  What's happening now is different. Jane Warner Plaza is the only usable public space in the Castro and serves as the neighborhood's town square.  Use of this small but important space as a near-daily nudist colony, while fun for the nudists, is anything but for the neighborhood as a whole.  This plaza and this neighborhood are for everyone, and the current situation alienates both residents and visitors.  We are a tolerant neighborhood and city, but there are limits.
Wiener swears he wasn't out to get nudists; he tried to allow the exhibitionism to run its course, but instead, the situation "has gotten more extreme. Many in the community have reached the end of their rope," Wiener says.

Watch the Castro Theatre manager freak out on these nudists:

If the legislation passes, anyone busted without clothes on in public will be subjected to a $100 fine -- the first time. That penalty will double if they're spotted sans clothing again in the same one-year period. If that still isn't reason enough to get dressed, a third offense will amount to either a $500 fine or a misdemeanor citation. But here's the silver lining: If convicted, you won't have to register as a sex offender, Wiener says.  
"The goal here isn't to punish people, but rather to get them to put their clothes on," Wiener explains.  

Oh, and don't worry, Noe Valley moms, this legislation won't apply to children under 5.

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About The Author

Erin Sherbert

Erin Sherbert

Erin Sherbert was the Online News Editor for SF Weekly from 2010 to 2015. She's a Texas native and has a closet full of cowboy boots to prove it.


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