Stanford Rhetorician Dissects Mayor's Flaccid Anti-Fireworks "Statement"One of the sad features of modern political life is the proliferation of "statements" written in language that no human would ever use -- and no human would ever wish to read.
For some strange reason, these steaming piles of verbiage are presented within quotation marks, as if the luminary in question actually sat down, immersed herself in serious thought, and spoke the words attributed to her. Of course, these statements are as sincere as the script for a hostage video. Less, actually: While a hostage may not be receiving humane treatment and three meals a day, he is at least reading the text out loud.
A timely example of such a statement comes from Mayor Ed Lee and Fire Chief Joanne Hayes-White. It's hardly revelatory to warn of the the mayhem that could be the result of putting fireworks in the wrong hands. But it's difficult to imagine the following passage dissuading anyone from the irresponsible, cavalier July Fourth behavior our forefathers went to war to protect: