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Tim Tebow: Jesus Smiles Upon San Francisco By Sending Him Elsewhere

Joe Eskenazi Mar 21, 2012 12:59 PM

Our prayers have been answered
More than a few sportswriters couldn't resist marital analogies during the 49ers' recent pursuit of Peyton Manning. And, hey -- it works. The team's for-better-or-for-worse union with Alex Smith finally experiences some of the "for better," vows are renewed -- and cue an aging but hormonally active bombshell (Manning).

It warrants mentioning that Smith just completed his seventh season with San Francisco -- meaning the team experienced the Seven-Year Itch. Wow, perfect! This is the only feasible way to compare Peyton Manning to Marilyn Monroe. (On a lesser note, you can liken the 49ers to Tom Ewell and Smith to Evelyn Keyes).

When you chase two women, the frequent result is ending up with no women. The Niners have patched things with Smith, the living embodiment of adequacy. There are worse things -- and worse things than ending up with nothing. You could land Tim Tebow.

Tebow's friend Jesus has done the 49ers a favor, however, ensuring the marginally talented quarterback and future conservative politician will suit up far, far from here in New York.