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Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Gayest City in America Is ... in Utah?

Posted By on Tue, Jan 10, 2012 at 2:15 PM

SF Weekly readers might remember just how upset the gay community was when San Francisco was booted down the list of gayest cities in America last year. To add insult to injury, the Advocate has not only decided San Francisco is still not the gayest city, but that Salt Lake City -- home of the God-worshiping Republicans, is.

How is that possible, you ask? Well, in our unscientific opinion, it's not. Yet the Advocate insists that Salt Lake City is the  No. 1 spot this year for homos. Using, its subjective criteria (nude yoga) and obviously fuzzy math, the 'zine bumped some of the most unsuspecting cities to the top of the queer list.

We're guessing Utah isn't happy about this, either.

It's a head-scratcher, no doubt, but rather than try to recalculate the data to work in our favor, we went ahead and came up with some possible explanations as to why Utah outranked San Francisco, home of the cock-shaped cookie.

utah_gay.jpg

5. "Gays in Utah" is a counterintuitive story that makes for a scintillating and scandalous-sounding headline. And we really can't fault the Advocate for wanting to capitalize on what gays there are in Utah.

click to enlarge JOSEPH SCHELL
  • Joseph Schell
4. Then again, what do we know? There could very well be more gays in Salt Lake City, considering how closeted the religious community is. And we all know that Utah is full of Mormons and Bible, um, beaters. 
JOSEPH SCHELL
  • Joseph Schell
3. You would think in San Francisco, a city with a gay supervisor whose last name is "Wiener" and who represents the Castro District, we'd automatically be on top. But Supervisor Scott Wiener is actively trying to ban public nudity and put an end to bare ass in the Castro, which doesn't really help our cause, now does it?
s_gay_softball_world_series_sued_bisexual_large_thumb_250x182.jpg
2. Bisexuals are ruining it for San Francisco! The Gay Softball World Series recently decided that our local players who swing both ways are homo enough to play ball with San Francisco's gayest gays. And that means the team isn't really that gay.
click to enlarge shock_therapy.jpg
1. Electric shock therapy isn't working in Utah, which leaves the state with a surplus of gays.



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About The Author

Erin Sherbert

Erin Sherbert

Bio:
Erin Sherbert was the Online News Editor for SF Weekly from 2010 to 2015. She's a Texas native and has a closet full of cowboy boots to prove it.

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