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Monday, August 1, 2011

Hippies vs. Hipsters: Water Wars

Posted By on Mon, Aug 1, 2011 at 10:45 AM

War is hell. We're reminding ourselves of this, yes ... - JOSEPH SCHELL
  • Joseph Schell
  • War is hell. We're reminding ourselves of this, yes ...

Finally, a way to persuade hippies to wash. Finally, a ploy to persuade hipsters to inadvertently shrink their too-tight pants to the breaking point. Finally, a chance for the beleaguered denizens of San Francisco to watch their dual oppressors turn on one another -- the hippies vs. hipsters water fight.

And, yes, it was a chance for Dolores Park-goers to witness an assemblage of young, attractive people hurl water on one anther on a beautiful Saturday afternoon.

The scheduled 2 p.m. battle, of course, started late -- neither hippies nor hipsters are renowned for their punctuality. When the hostilities officially commenced roughly half an hour later, a smaller hipster contingent initiated the charge against numerically superior hippie forces fortified with artillery -- that is, water balloons.

Suffice to say, hippie vs. hipster reenactors will have their hands full re-creating the mayhem of the subsequent free-for-all. For onlookers, it was often difficult to tell one side from the other: Is a woman with knee-high bumblebee socks, short shorts, and a yellow tank top a hippie or a hipster? Well, she was definitely wet.

In the end both sides doused each other thoroughly while chanting "Give peace a chance" and "PBR! PBR!" (I think you know who said what). A battalion of rednecks did not charge down the hill to finish off the depleted hippie and hipster armies -- a move redneck historians may yet rue for centuries to come.

All that's left of the weekend's carnage are wet, happy memories. And, of course, this fantastic slideshow. Enjoy!  

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About The Author

Joe Eskenazi

Joe Eskenazi

Joe Eskenazi was born in San Francisco, raised in the Bay Area, and attended U.C. Berkeley. He never left. "Your humble narrator" was a staff writer and columnist for SF Weekly from 2007 to 2015. He resides in the Excelsior with his wife, 4.3 miles from his birthplace and 5,474 from hers.


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