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Air Traffic Controller: [ATC] United 242, you [center up].
Southwest Pilot: Well, I had Tucson to Indy all four weeks and, uh, Chicago crews...11 out of 12... there's 12 flight attendants, individual, never the same flight attendant twice.
Eleven [expletive] over the top [expletive], [expletive] homosexuals and a granny. Eleven. I mean, think of the odds of that. I thought I was in Chicago, which was party-land.
[Untelligible]
Southwest Pilot: After that, it was just a continuous stream of gays and grannies and grandes. [co-pilot says something off mic]
Southwest Pilot: Well I don't give a [expletive]. I hate 100 percent of their [expletive].
So, six months, I went to the bar three times. In six months, three times. Once with the granny and the [expletive], and I wish I hadn't gone. At the very end with two girls, one of them that was part do-able, but we ended up going to the bar and then to the crew at St. Louis, and all these two women wanted to do was, one wanted to berate her sister and the other wanted to bitch about her husband. Literally, for three hours, me and the F.O. [First Officer]. When that was done, got back to my room, I'm like why the [expletive] did I stay up?
ATC: OK, whoever is, uh, transmitting, better watch what you're saying.
Southwest Pilot continues: They're still both [inaudible], you know what I mean? I still wouldn't want anyone to know if I had banged them. So, I mean it was a complete disaster for six months. Now I'm back in Houston, which is easily where the ugliest base is. I mean it's all these [expletive] old dudes and grannies and there's like maybe a handful of cute chicks.
ATC: OK, someone's got a stuck mic and, uh, telling us all about their endeavors. We don't need to hear that.
- transmissions end, other pilots make jokes about the offensive transmission not coming from them -
Another Pilot: Uh, Houston, Skywest 6285, we're [gives heading] ...and that was not us.
ATC: [Chuckles] Skywest 6285, Houston Center: Roger, Climb and maintain flight level 360.
Skywest pilot: 360, Skywest 6285....And they wonder why airline pilots have a bad reputation.
[ATC calls another plane]
[Aircraft answers]
ATC: Number 7 Hotel Bravo: [gives instructions] Final 240.
7 Hotel Bravo Pilot: And it wasn't us either.
ATC: Roger, I didn't think that was you.
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