Get SF Weekly Newsletters

Friday, June 10, 2011

Angry Talk Radio Station KSFO Will Text You News and Ads for Gold

Posted By on Fri, Jun 10, 2011 at 2:00 PM


Updated at 3 p.m: Someone purporting to be from KSFO has responded to this piece with this thoughtful tweet:

click to enlarge ksfo_radio_ksfo560_on_twitter_1307742106158.png

Original Post:

One terrible truth of life is that on occasion talk-radio listeners wander out of earshot and languish momentarily without anyone telling them what they should be mad about. That's why KSFO created its text message Patriot Alerts program, which promises to alert its subscribers to "higher taxes" and "threats to your rights and freedoms."

The idea is that KSFO -- the local home of Rush Limbaugh, Mark Levin, Sean Hannity, and other media professionals who make bank denouncing media professionals -- remains forever vigilant, surveying a nation in crisis, and then sending what matters straight to patriots' pants.

Two months back, SF Weekly signed up for KSFO's texts. Here's what we got when we set our freedoms to vibrate:

April 18:

"Thanks for subscribing to KSFO's Patriot Alerts! For more info visit Std txt msg rates may apply.To opt out text 'patriot stop' to 64636"

But true patriots don't stop!

April 19:

Patriot Alert: PG&E reports 7000+ customers without power in Pacifica after 3.8M quake. *Sussman_'s Choice 4 Gold, 800.877.3273.

Yes, that's a pitch for whatever gold company pays morning guy Brian Sussman.

April 27:

KSFO Patriot Alert: Obama released his long-form birth certificate. Let us know what u think at *Sussman_'s Choice 4 Gold, 800.877.3273.

It is the task of true patriots to disseminate their opinion through social media despite having no information other than a vague text.

May 1:

KSFO Patriot Alert: ABC News is reporting that Osama Bin Laden has been killed. President Obama to make a statement shortly."

No gold ad this time! Did the company stop ponying up? Or perhaps out of patriotic principle it refuses to be mentioned in the same message as a lamestream media organization like ABC.

May 11:

KSFO Patriot Alert: New Gingrich formally launches his long-expected Presidential Campaign. More as

Two hundred years from now, history books will tell of the brave texter who dared to let the people know this news.

June 2:

KSFO Patriot Alert:Mitt Romney has officially entered the 2012 Presidential Race. Hear all about it on KSFO 560 AM! *Sussman_'s Choice 4 Gold, 800.877.3273.

Seriously, that's it for these. Something tells us that KSFO's commitment to new information technologies is -- like the opinions of its on-air talent -- pretty last century. Keep right on with the liberty sexting, KSFO!

Follow us on Twitter at @TheSnitchSF and @SFWeekly

  • Pin It

About The Author

Alan Scherstuhl


Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Popular Stories

  1. Most Popular Stories
  2. Stories You Missed

Like us on Facebook


  • clipping at Brava Theater Sept. 11
    Sub Pop recording artists 'clipping.' brought their brand of noise-driven experimental hip hop to the closing night of 2016's San Francisco Electronic Music Fest this past Sunday. The packed Brava Theater hosted an initially seated crowd that ended the night jumping and dancing against the front of the stage. The trio performed a set focused on their recently released Sci-Fi Horror concept album, 'Splendor & Misery', then delved into their dancier and more aggressive back catalogue, and recent single 'Wriggle'. Opening performances included local experimental electronic duo 'Tujurikkuja' and computer music artist 'Madalyn Merkey.'"