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Wednesday, June 8, 2011

So Long, Gavin Newsom

Posted By on Wed, Jun 8, 2011 at 2:10 PM

click to enlarge Where's Gavin? Good question.
  • Where's Gavin? Good question.

It doesn't come as a surprise that Gavin Newsom, who made every effort to get out of San Francisco short of mailing himself to parts unknown, is leaving town. What's unexpected is he couldn't come up with a better excuse. Apparently, the Newsom's $2.7 million abode isn't large enough to accommodate a family of four.

Four what? Rhinoceri?

We suppose $2.7 mil just don't buy what it used to. Either that or the plans to install a squash court for the wee ones was just no longer feasible after the installation of the monorail. And, really, who puts in a squash court without a monorail? It's just not done.

We placed a call to an expert in moving one's family out of town after being elected to represent it. Surprisingly, former Supervisor Chris Daly was sympathetic to his despised rival's plight.

"My wife gets a lot more support from her family living around us. If that's why the Newsoms want to move closer to the Siebels, that makes sense to me," he says. "There's no substitute for grandparents around to watch the kids and take the kids."

The barkeep has an offer for the former mayor, though: "How about this? He gives me his house in the Haight with four bedrooms and three-and-a-half baths. And I move my family back to San Francisco."

In the meantime, it's a return for Newsom to his old stamping ground.

The woman who drove the youthful Newsom siblings in a carpool informs us that the family home in Marin was "a shack" -- our erstwhile mayor's reminiscences of hard times and the heroic effort his mother made to keep the family together are all too true.

The young mayor, incidentally, was recalled by the former driver as a surly boy.

Hopefully this sojourn in Marin will be happier. And hopefully those of us without several million dollars on hand will find ways to raise modestly sized families in this here city.

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About The Author

Joe Eskenazi

Joe Eskenazi

Joe Eskenazi was born in San Francisco, raised in the Bay Area, and attended U.C. Berkeley. He never left. "Your humble narrator" was a staff writer and columnist for SF Weekly from 2007 to 2015. He resides in the Excelsior with his wife, 4.3 miles from his birthplace and 5,474 from hers.


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