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Friday, May 13, 2011

Exclusive: Osama Bin Laden's Porn Collection Revealed

Posted By on Fri, May 13, 2011 at 2:26 PM

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Who knew? It turns out that plotting the destruction of the Great Satan may not have been the only thing that brought joy to recently deceased terrorist Osama bin Laden. The news wires are exploding with the revelation that a trove of porn was discovered in the al-Qaeda leader's Pakistan compound by the Navy Seals who killed him two weeks ago.

It's only a matter of time before the outcry begins for the pornography to be released.

Before everyone starts speculating on exactly what could have been in this collection -- which, if auctioned, will surely prove one of the more valuable porn stashes the world has ever seen -- there are a few things to consider. Al-Qaeda's porn, to put it simply, is not your porn. It's not even your grandma's porn. (What, she didn't tell you?) These are people who advocated a theocracy in which a woman's forearms could not legally be displayed. It stands to reason that bin Laden's porn would be considerably tamer and lamer than what we libertine Americans are accustomed to -- albeit inspired by images of his own most delectable forbidden pleasures.

Here is our recreation of bin Laden's secret stash:


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Peter Jamison

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