The ongoing spectacle surrounding President Barack Obama's place of birth was a debacle that did its utmost to make everyone in this country just a little stupider. That's saying a lot for a country that actually impeached its commander-in-chief because he lied about getting a hummer -- but, there, we said it.
It seems too much to hope the knuckle-draggers who insisted our president was some manner of stealth Muslim will now bow to the incontrovertible proof that Obama, unlike John McCain, was born in the United States. The unabashedly crazy folks at the San Francisco Examiner op-ed page, however, are ready to tell the birthers to get off their lawns.
Or are they?
Those of us who would rather gouge our eyes out with a spoon than listen to another one of Charlie Sheen's epic rants -- onstage at that -- should maybe reconsider shelling out $100 for the weekend event.
Sheen's publicist has reportedly said he will donate proceeds from merchandise sold at Saturday's "Violent Torpedo of Truth" tour in San Francisco to Bryan Stow, the Giants fan who was viciously beaten last month.
So maybe you should purchase that T-shirt with the obnoxiously famous Sheen saying: "Duh! Winning."
The youngest of the 24 accused Mara Salvatrucha (MS-13) gangsters operating in the Bay Area are barely 20. They were still minors -- or had just turned 18 -- when they were arrested in 2008 during the Operation Devil Horns gang takedown. Since then, they have been indicted for conspiring to beat, rob, and murder with the gang -- or even to have been the triggermen themselves.
They didn't come out of the womb with devil-horn tattoos. So how did things go so wrong while they were so young?
'Twas a sad day in Birtherville yesterday, as President Barack Obama's abrupt decision to indulge clinically paranoid requests for his extended birth certificate resulted in the nonrevelation that our commander-in-chief is, in fact, an American citizen. Racist idiots will now have to find something else to harp about. Their jester-king, Donald Trump, has nimbly pivoted to scrutiny of Obama's academic record.
We think this shows a lack of imagination. Obama is plainly a smart, smart man, and attacking his intellectual credentials doesn't seem to bode for success. But don't lose hope, birthers! You are persecuted, but not forsaken; you are cast down, but not destroyed. In the tradition of media goading of the deranged masses, the Snitch has a few suggestions for other profitable ways to impugn our president's legitimacy. Read after the jump.
For Giants fans of a certain vintage, the name Ryan Vogelsong evokes a particular kind of nostalgia. There are the hazy memories of a promising player who never amounted to much, moved along, and continued to never amount to much. Think Randy Bockus, Eric Gunderson, or Jesse Foppert.
Vogelsong also holds a place in fans' hearts for being involved in a lopsided trade -- the Giants sent him and Armando Rios to Pittsburgh for Jason Schmidt, the player San Francisco truly bought low and sold high. On a personal note, the first time I was (legally) allowed onto a Major League field, I stood behind the bullpen catcher as he caught young Vogelsong in 2001. I can still recall the atomic smack of the ball hitting the catcher's mitt.
In any event, Giants fans might be surprised to learn that Vogelsong -- who was shipped off to Pittsburgh in '01 and has been out of the Big Leagues since 2006 -- never won a game for San Francisco. That may change today, however.
Medical authorities have identified the surfer who was pulled to shore at Ocean Beach yesterday afternoon as 44-year-old Jonathan Luhn.
Luhn, a San Jose resident, was spotted floating in the water in San Francisco at about 1 p.m. on Wednesday. Someone pulled his body to the shore and called 911.
With all of the recent ire over controversial smartphone apps, including dogfighting games and apps meant to cure gays, the average iPhone user has probably started to wonder: are there any apps that are too offensive to make it into the hands of consumers?
Low and behold, there's at least one.
Apple told reporters today that it's rejected the offensive iPhone immigrant-smuggling game called Smuggle Truck, where players navigate a truck filled with immigrants across a desert. The point is to get the immigrants across without losing any on the bumpy ride. At the end of the game, whoever has the most immigrants on th bed of their truck wins.
Naturally, this has riled the immigrant-rights community, which called the game completely "disgraceful."
Dr. Mollie Fry and her husband, Dale Schafer, are ill.
Fry is a breast-cancer survivor with severe mental-health issues, and Schafer's hemophilia means he is frequently bedridden. So he will have to be in a prison hospital beginning May 2, when the couple will begin five-year sentences for providing medical marijuana in 2001.
Unless President Barack Obama shows them some mercy.
Obama has one week to step in and commute the sentences -- or the couple will go to prison for what they claim was legally providing marijuana. Fry and Schafer say they should be protected by California's medical cannabis laws.
Earlier this month, we posed this question: What could BART general manager Dorothy Dugger's $1 million payout buy us? Well, BART just gave us the answer -- late-night service for six months!
The Examiner reports that BART is considering the much-desired and long-overdue after-hours service extension, but at the high price of $1.2 million. Which, of course, is only $200,000 more than what the agency gave Dugger on her way out the door -- minus the flowers.
Yesterday SF Weekly reported that the controversial Dog Wars app was mysteriously pulled from the Android market. But a quick search for the game now shows that the virtual dogfighting app is curiously back.
The national uproar over Dog Wars could have been the reason it was temporarily pulled. Yet unconfirmed reports say the brief disappearance was because of copyright infringement issues, according to bloggers.
Meanwhile, people continue signing petitions asking Google to permanently take the app off the market. Change.org has gotten more than 13,000 signatures from supporters who want it blocked. And this week, Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Michael Vick came out against Dog Wars, saying it was a training ground for dogfighters.
