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Friday, March 25, 2011

Japan Relief Auction Stunts We'd Like to See

Posted By on Fri, Mar 25, 2011 at 2:30 PM

click to enlarge We'd buy that for a dollar...
  • We'd buy that for a dollar...

As reported earlier on this page, our Board of Supervisors raised $11,000 for Japan -- and did so by doing what it would do anyway.

David Chiu was going to ride his bike. Now he gets some company, and $250 goes to disaster relief. Eric Mar was going to go to the Academy of Sciences (and, surely, Facebook it). Now he has a pal. And, Jane Kim, who dresses like she's going to go to a night on the town during supes' meetings, was going to go to a night on the town. Now someone is paying $1,300 to the needy in order to tag along.

Good show on behalf of our elected leaders. But we can't help but think there are things the general public might have paid even a bit more dearly for. To wit:

A trip to McDonald's with Eric Mar (during which Gabriel Haaland will tell him what to order);

A lecture on pension and health care obligations from Sean Elsbernd. Extra if he signs the spreadsheets;

An incredibly awkward game of one-on-one basketball with Scott Wiener;

A chance to have Mark Farrell invest your money for you;

A shopping expedition for men's vests with Ross Mirkarimi;

Violin lessons from David Chiu;

click to enlarge Ed! The Norelco people are on line one!
  • Ed! The Norelco people are on line one!
An after-hours excursion with David Campos and John Avalos to leave a flaming bag of dogshit on David Chiu's doorstep;

Drinking games with Malia Cohen and Carmen Chu;

And, finally, how much money -- for a good cause -- would it take to get Mayor Ed Lee to shave off that 'stache?

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About The Author

Joe Eskenazi

Joe Eskenazi

Joe Eskenazi was born in San Francisco, raised in the Bay Area, and attended U.C. Berkeley. He never left. "Your humble narrator" was a staff writer and columnist for SF Weekly from 2007 to 2015. He resides in the Excelsior with his wife, 4.3 miles from his birthplace and 5,474 from hers.


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