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Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Brian Wilson Challenged to Brawl by Local Idiot

Posted By on Wed, Jan 19, 2011 at 2:22 PM

click to enlarge Brian Wilson knows what's best in life: To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women

The ascendancy of the San Francisco Giants has created an unexpected quandary. How much Brian Wilson is too much Brian Wilson?

For one local dim bulb, that question has already been answered. An Oakland A's fan claiming he was wronged by the Giants' quotable closer has spent good money on the web domain And guess what he wants to do?

The anonymous fan claims his quest to don gloves and box against a professional athlete stems from a May 23 incident at the Oakland Coliseum in which he was a dick to the opposing player.

Per the anonymous would-be brawler's website:

The A's were going for the sweep so I brought my broom with me. Our seats were about three rows up from the Giants bullpen. before (sic) the game started Brian Wilson walked up to our area and gave some giants (sic) fans some autographs, so I asked him if he could sign my broom "Cool Guy" since he thinks hes (sic) such a cool guy. I guess he picked up on my sarcasm and just looked at me with a get lost face. I continued to ask him to sign my broom "Cool Guy" so he moved over a little to square up with me and asked me, "Are YOU making fun of ME"? and after I laughed a little bit I said, "wow not just cool, your (sic) smart too". So at this point he got all heated up and said, "Who the hell are you", and challenged me to come on the field. ... So this is a formal invite for Brian Wilson to spar me in a legal boxing match in a boxing gym. Any gym he wants any time he wants.

Staci Slaughter, the Giants' vice president of communications, was not amused. When asked whether there was any way on God's green earth that the team would sanction its star pitcher brawling with an aggrieved fan, she calmly answered "Most likely, no." You think?

This, to her knowledge, is the first organized challenge to fight with a Giant.

When asked whether the team would approve of a nonviolent challenge -- a poetry slam, say, or a game of chess -- she declined to answer.

Since the boxing match will all but certainly not occur, fans have been denied the opportunity to ponder whether The Machine would be Wilson's cornerman.

H/T   |   Crazy Crabbers

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About The Author

Joe Eskenazi

Joe Eskenazi

Joe Eskenazi was born in San Francisco, raised in the Bay Area, and attended U.C. Berkeley. He never left. "Your humble narrator" was a staff writer and columnist for SF Weekly from 2007 to 2015. He resides in the Excelsior with his wife, 4.3 miles from his birthplace and 5,474 from hers.


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