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Tuesday, December 14, 2010

The Year in Gay, 2010 Edition

Posted By on Tue, Dec 14, 2010 at 12:20 PM

What a year it was
Who Will Be The Uppity Fag Of The Year?

Let's face it -- this was a messy, messy year for the gays.

Much of the news was good, ultimately, but shit dragged on! There were three major federal trials (four, technically -- but two were sorta merged in Massachusetts), promises were made and broken, and legislation still hangs in the air like a fart in the elevator.

Lots of dust was kicked up, for sure, and I might even handle some of it with reverence. Maybe. In between quick summaries of the BIG stories look for reflective moments of levity that build to the climax revelation of Uppity Fag of The Year.

George "The Long Stroke" Rekers


A number of new gays arrived this year! Some of them even admitted it voluntarily like singers Ricky Martin and Chely Wright and the former head of the RNC, Ken Mehlman. Others, like Roy Ashburn, needed some convincing (by getting arrested for drunk driving), while Supreme Court justice Elena Kagan avoided the issue but sent her friends out to defend her heterosexuality.

Most entertaining in the new gay category this year was the discovery that a well paid, ex-gay theory-promoting homophobe, Dr. George Rekers, was caught traveling with a young, blond, male escort. Even if you won't discuss the pleasure you derive during the "long stroke", Dr. Rekers, we still consider you an honorary gay! Welcome, Doc!

A new gay activist group was born this year: GetEqual. The attention-grabbing gang of misfits staged sit-ins in politicians offices, blocked traffic in Vegas, and made handcuffs the 'must have' accessory in Washington, D.C. this year.

Accessories? Liza Minelli sold accessories on HSN this year!

The 2010 acronym roundup

DOMA: The new gays may even get to experience a marriage that the feds recognize. Eventually. In July, a federal judge in Massachusetts said the Defense of Marriage Act is unconstitutional.  Of course, President Obama's Department of Justice will appeal the decision. We can look forward to appeal arguments in early 2011.

ENDA: After a blogswarm of bloggy pressure on the Democrats in March and sit-ins at Rep. Nancy Pelosi's offices in D.C. and San Francisco last spring and promises made in May (ENDA is a "personal priority" of Speaker Pelosi) the fate of a federal Employment Non-Discrimination Act is on hold for five years (according to  Rep. Jackie Speier).

DADT: The year started with Obama's pledge to repeal Don't Ask Don't Tell. In May, Speaker Pelosi also said it would be repealed.  As of the middle of December we still don't know for sure. The repeal that actually doesn't end the policy passed the House months ago and has been filibustered twice in the Senate. The struggle to repeal the military ban on gays has been symbolized by handcuffs, heckling, and hunger strikes in 2010.

Meanwhile, on The View, Elizabeth Hasselbeck theorized this year that old women are all lesbians.

Anti-gay A-holes in 2010

Let's not waste too much time reminiscing about the people that get hard-ons while giving us a hard time, but let's also keep track of their bullshit. The National Organization for Marriage devoted its time and energy to promote heterosexual supremacy. It went on a 20-city tour over the summer! NOM stunk up Minnesota! NOM tried to dodge campaign laws in New York State! It contributed to Carly Fiorina's failed attempt to beat Barbara Boxer in California! Finally, NOM managed to rally enough idiots in Iowa to have three state Supreme Court justices tossed off the bench for voting in favor of same-sex marriage.

Let's hope the lead sow of NOM is right when she said if Prop. 8 is overturned " will be the end of marriage as we know it."

Marriage as we knew it in 2010

In August came the story of woman in Ohio that discovered that the woman she suspected of having an affair with her husband was actually married to him. Sacred! A suburban wife of a dentist and mother of three was fellating teenage boys (including her daughter's ex-boyfriend). Traditional! A New York couple (with pre-marital child) got divorced when the husband learned that his wife was lying about having leukemia after receiving gifts and a free honeymoon and lots of privilege and recognition. Just like Adam and Eve!

Honorary mentions in 2010

Newt Gingrich's ex-wife (one of many) telling secrets, Kelsey Grammer engaged to No. 4 before being divorced from No. 3, and who can forget Jesse James cheating on Sandra Bullock and getting caught 10 days after she won the Academy Award.

Those people really put the "hole" in holy matrimony this year.

Married lesbian superhero Ellen Degeneres "doesn't like our country" according to a contestant on Family Feud.

Constance McMillen getting ready for the prom her school nixed

Gay youth in 2010

A teenager from Mississippi, Constance McMillen, was cheated out of her high school prom by conniving parents who arranged a decoy prom to preserve the heterosexual integrity of the high school of privilege.

 An outbreak of suicides among gay teenagers erupted this fall bringing attention to the effects of bullying and harassment that many young LGBT people face. Anti-gay hate group Focus on the Family appeared on CNN to discourage gay-friendly outreach in schools. Fortunately, people like Dan Savage aren't afraid to take CNN to task for promoting bigotry by giving hate groups a platform to spew their propaganda. Savage is the founder of the It Gets Better Project, a website collection of videos launched this year to help give queer youth support and encouragement.  

San Francisco contributed (with some help from Matt Baume) to the It Gets Better Project. 

Judge Vaughn Walker, possible future grand marshal here in S.F.
San Francisco in 2010

The first statewide celebration of Harvey Milk Day happened in late May and I thought it sucked. Nancy Pelosi robotically addressed the gathered throng in attendance at the SF Pride celebration. The SF Pride committee lost both its executive director and the board president after months of budget woes. Only one new gay - Scott Wiener in District 8 -- was elected to the Board of Supervisors.

A horrible big-box retailer -- Target -- is slated to move into San Francisco even though the chain's executives contributed $150,000 to support a Republican candidate in Minnesota who hangs out with a rabidly anti-gay group. The redevelopment agency doesn't have a problem with helping Target fund anti-gay candidates. There's no conflict of interest there, right? 

Conflicts of interest in San Francisco in 2010

The Human Rights Campaign announced that it is going to move into the storefront that used to be Harvey Milk's camera shop.

Prop. 8 in 2010

San Francisco hosted the federal challenge to Prop. 8, the voter-approved ban on same-sex marriage. The trial began Jan. 11, 2010, lasted a couple weeks, then went on hiatus until June. Judge Vaugn Walker was was "outed" by the Chronicle during the hiatus. That didn't stop him from having dinner with a mystery date in the Castro, or completely trashing Prop. 8. And it certainly didn't stop him from retiring after the hoopla.

The 9th Circuit Court of Appeal is mulling what to make of his decision at this very moment.

The Year of Jimmy
Last and not least, the Uppity Fag of the Year:

James Franco! No, he's not gay but he makes me want to be a better gay. Whether he's talking about how often he masturbates or portraying Alan Ginsburg in Howl or observing a sex act between two men to get into a role, James Franco does a better job of being a gay guy than most gay guys I know. If he really is a straight guy, all that gay bravado makes him one hell of an uppity fag. Because of that he is the uppity fag of 2010.

Patrick Connors is an uppity fag who basks in the shadow of James Franco.

Follow him on Twitter at @UppityFag and @SFWeekly

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