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Tuesday, November 9, 2010

What Will San Francisco Ban Next?

Posted By on Tue, Nov 9, 2010 at 12:01 AM

click to enlarge next_on_the_banned_list.jpg

Today, the Board of Supervisors will take a final vote on banning restaurants from giving away toys with Happy Meal-type kiddie orders unless nutritional standards are adhered to. Barring any last-minute changes of heart worthy of bad-guy wrestlers, the motion will pass, 8-3 -- a veto-proof majority.

This comes on the heels of San Francisco opting to remove sugary sodas from machines on city-owned land and forbidding pharmacies from hawking tobacco.

Naturally, the question arises: What will San Francisco ban next?

  • Long-distance relationships.

    Do you have any idea what kind of carbon condom-print these cause? If

    Mr. or Mrs. Right isn't in the nine Bay Area counties, get thee to a

    nunnery. 


  • Hostess products.

    Pure evil. Your parents' generation liked it, so it must be bad. Those

    caught with Twinkies will be sent to re-education camps -- which, like

    Hostess products themselves, will last forever.


  • Wonder Bread. Parents who serve this spongy filth to their kids will be reported to Child Protective Services.




  • French beer. You're paying premium prices for this? Drunken French students fling that crap into the moats of Medieval fortresses. Get it out of here.


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About The Author

Joe Eskenazi

Joe Eskenazi

Bio:
Joe Eskenazi was born in San Francisco, raised in the Bay Area, and attended U.C. Berkeley. He never left. "Your humble narrator" was a staff writer and columnist for SF Weekly from 2007 to 2015. He resides in the Excelsior with his wife, 4.3 miles from his birthplace and 5,474 from hers.

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