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Monday, November 8, 2010

Lawsuit Claims S.F. Juvy Guards Beat Young Inmates

Posted By on Mon, Nov 8, 2010 at 5:15 PM

What we have here is failure to communicate...
  • What we have here is failure to communicate...

A counselor working for the San Francisco Juvenile Probation Department claims in a federal lawsuit that guards for years mistreated youthful inmates, then conspired to hide the abuse.

"There's kicking, beating, all those things, and those are only the things I directly know of," said Alfred Lam, who filed the lawsuit Oct. 25 as a federal class action on behalf of San Francisco minors. "I'm the only one standing up right now. I hope more people stand up."

Lam said he has contacted the U.S. Attorneys office with his allegations. This was the second lawsuit against the department Lam filed in October. On Oct. 19 he sued alleging a pattern of racist discrimination against Asian and Pacific Island employees.

In response to an inquiry, Juvenile Probation Department spokeswoman Allison Magee said "Those certainly aren't practices in the department. But I cannot comment on pending litigation."

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Kamala Harris: Take a Maalox

Posted By on Mon, Nov 8, 2010 at 4:35 PM

The cure for political heartache?
  • The cure for political heartache?

To those tormented by the stunningly close Attorney General's race between Steve Cooley and Kamala Harris, San Francisco's district attorney offers a bit of medical advice: "Grab some Maalox."

Harris made her impromptu pitch for a particular brand of heartburn medication at a press conference today announcing murder and rape charges filed against the suspected killer of Kate Horan. When asked about the Attorney General's race -- and, per the latest totals, Harris trails by 19,189 votes -- she kept her statement short. And medicinal.

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How Jean Quan May, Astoundingly, Become Mayor of Oakland

Posted By on Mon, Nov 8, 2010 at 3:40 PM

Jean Quan, the politician who lived - JEAN QUAN FOR OAKLAND MAYOR 2010
  • Jean Quan for Oakland Mayor 2010
  • Jean Quan, the politician who lived

As we wait for final election results to come in for the Oakland mayor's race, it's not premature to say that City Councilwoman Jean Quan will have pulled off one of the great political Lazarus acts in recent Bay Area history if she clinches a win. Quan currently holds a narrow lead over former State Sen. Don Perata, who -- after the first round of votes was counted last week -- was beating her by an 11-point margin.

This wide gap prompted pollster David Latterman to tell the San Francisco Chronicle that "mathematically, she [Quan] just can't do it." Well, a little math never got in the way of a stunning political upset, and according to another expert we consulted, Quan's surge is an entirely plausible -- if unusual -- consequence of Alameda County's adoption of ranked choice voting.

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Blowjobs, Sex, and Teens: Relax, it's a Scientific Study

Posted By on Mon, Nov 8, 2010 at 3:15 PM

Yeah, we remember high school...
  • Yeah, we remember high school...

A comprehensive U.C. San Francisco study claims that teen sexuality resembles a porn movie in at least one manner -- and it has nothing to do with a pizza deliveryman bringing his pepperoni to a houseful of amorous sorority girls. No, it's "first oral sex, then sex."

Per the study, a joint effort from both UCSF and U.C. Merced, the majority of kids who begin dabbling in oral sex in ninth grade will go all the way by 11th grade. Also, most teenagers who start having oral sex will have sexual intercourse within six months. That's the money shot from the report, published in The Archives of Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine and christened Predictive Relationship Between Adolescent Oral and Vaginal Sex: Results From a Prospective, Longitudinal Study.

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Giants to Update Stadium Championship List 'Any Day Now'

Posted By on Mon, Nov 8, 2010 at 2:35 PM

We know what's coming next...
  • We know what's coming next...

When your humble narrator first began attending baseball games at Candlestick Park, the sign outside the stadium told you everything you needed to know about the San Francisco Giants' place in this city.

After you stopped off at Piccolo Pete's, walked under the fetid overpass, climbed through the two parking lots, and reached the stadium, you were greeted with a large sign by the stadium parking lot: "WELCOME TO CANDLESTICK PARK. HOME OF SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS, SUPER BOWL CHAMPIONS 1981 AND 1985." In a small corner of the sign was the following afterthought: "HOME OF S.F. GIANTS."

Things have changed. SF Weekly has learned that, later this week, the Giants will be adding the 2010 to the list of championship years decorating the exterior of AT&T Park.

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Gary Scott Holland Charged With Murder and Attempted Rape of Kathleen Horan

Posted By on Mon, Nov 8, 2010 at 1:35 PM

Kathleen "Kate" Horan
  • Kathleen "Kate" Horan

The alleged murder of Kathleen Horan has taken an even more macabre turn with the announcement of the charges against suspect Gary Scott Holland this morning. Not only does the parolee face murder and robbery counts -- but also attempted rape.

District Attorney Kamala Harris announced that she charged Holland this morning with one count of murder, two counts of residential burglary, one count of residential robbery, and one count of attempted rape of the Russian Hill woman who opened her door to him on Oct. 29.

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Machine for Mayor -- Why Not? Here's Why Not.

Posted By on Mon, Nov 8, 2010 at 12:59 PM

'This city needs discipline,' reads the shirt
  • 'This city needs discipline,' reads the shirt

We've had great fun with Giants closer Brian Wilson's obsession with "The Machine" -- and the gimp mask-outfitted imaginary killer's odd entrance into San Francisco politics

It seems, however, there is someone having more fun with us. His name is Nathan Brown, and he's the man behind MachineForMayor.com.

"Knowing San Francisco, living in it, and loving it as much as we do, we saw The Machine as the perfect combination of intrigue, perceived intelligence, and sadomasochistic appreciation of the political process," said Brown.

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Young Ingrates Attempt Meat Heist

Posted By on Mon, Nov 8, 2010 at 11:59 AM

Been caught stealin'...
  • Been caught stealin'...

It's no crime to be hungry. But it is a crime to satiate one's appetite by attempting to steal $500 worth of meat.

A group of "college-age kids" who claimed to be "hungry college students" raided the Safeway at 4900 Mission last week. In an unusual twist, the five young people first asked a store manager to help them locate several grocery items -- which he did. Then the alleged thieves made off with those items.

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'Interim Mayor' Would Earn Three Times More Than 'Acting Mayor'

Posted By on Mon, Nov 8, 2010 at 10:45 AM

It's good to be the interim mayor
  • It's good to be the interim mayor

What's the difference between an "acting mayor" and an "interim" one? About $153,000, to start with.

We've gone over the scenarios confronting the Board of Supervisors in anointing Mayor Gavin Newsom's successor. Here's the rub: If the current board makes up its mind and designates an "interim mayor," that person will serve until November of 2011. But if the supes can't settle on a candidate, Board President David Chiu becomes "acting mayor," and serves until the next mayor is voted into office or the board eventually settles on a replacement.

Both "interim" and "acting" mayors have the same powers: They can make appointments, veto legislation, enforce the right of primæ noctis. But the pay scale ain't the same. Interim mayor earns the same as our regular mayor: $247,825. The acting mayor, who is still president of the board, earns a supe's salary of $94,475.

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Muni Delays Greet Predictions of Better Service

Posted By on Mon, Nov 8, 2010 at 9:45 AM

A May Muni malfunction forced riders to walk out of the Metro Tunnel - WILLIAM POOR
  • William Poor
  • A May Muni malfunction forced riders to walk out of the Metro Tunnel

Late last month, we reported how a systemwide morning Muni failure was due to an 11-year-old computer conking out.

Today, the Examiner notes that a spate of slow Muni journeys are due to software and hardware problems -- computer errors, parts slicing cables in half, unfortunate employees cutting power to the entire system. That sort of thing. And, Muni higher-ups note, things should be getting better and better.

Sadly, it's time for Muni execs to do their best impersonation of Han Solo or Lando Calrissian bemoaning the Millennium Falcon's ever-malfunctioning hyperdrive ("They told me they fixed it!" "It's not my fault!"). Once again, Muni trains were lined as far as the eye could see this morning, and moving at the speed of a snail with a hangover.

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