Start with the lingerie. First baseman Aubrey Huff wore his wife's red thong panties underneath his uniform throughout the postseason. At the World Series parade on Wednesday, he performed a Zoolander-esque brandishing of what he had come to call the "Rally Thong."
Now, we know what you're going to say: If Huff had truly been channeling the spirit of his city, he would have ditched the uniform, donned some high heels, and headed to Esta Noche. To which we reply: If you've seen the ladies of Esta Noche, then you know Huff would be playing way out of his league at the Mission's finest drag bar.
But Huff's red thong pales beside what has become the best-known sexual sideshow of the 2010 Giants. We speak, of course, of that bizarre, near-holy entity known as The Machine. Who and what is The Machine? Nobody knows for sure. Some believe he is Pat Burrell. Others believe he is a god. The only thing we can say with certainty is that he's a guy in full fetish gear who likes to wander around pitcher Brian Wilson's digs in the Marina.
The Machine even made a charming, if enigmatic, appearance alongside Wilson on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno last night. The BDSM avatar was silent during his televised cameo, perhaps admiring the World Series trophy that Wilson carried onstage with a pair of white gloves he said were woven from "Himalayan yeti fur."
It sure is nice to know that that glorious piece of hardware is another thing you'll find only in San Francisco for a while.
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