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Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Giants Parade: an Orange Revolution

Posted By on Wed, Nov 3, 2010 at 2:59 PM

A panoramic view of Giants fans filling Civic Center. Click to enlarge. - JOE ESKENAZI
  • Joe Eskenazi
  • A panoramic view of Giants fans filling Civic Center. Click to enlarge.

In a surprise perhaps only to the the national media, a cloud of white smoke wafted out over the sea of orange-clad Giants fans at Civic Center Plaza. It smelled like ... victory.

Today was a day many a Giants fan has dreamed about. Players, most of them glassy eyed and open mouthed, gaped at the throngs of fans lining Market Street to greet them. "This is crazy," said starting pitcher Madison Bumgarner. "I've never seen anything like this."

Actually, no one has seen anything like this. San Francisco wasn't blessed with mawkish writers lamenting curses and thrown World Series, but city residents were painfully aware that the Giants had never before captured the crown. This month, that ended. And, today, the team's enamored throngs took off work on a blissful day to celebrate by throwing crap out the window, dressing like a Jack-O-Lantern, and singing along to Journey in the middle of a working day. Tomorrow, hurling stuff out the window makes you antisocial, dressing odd becomes odd, and Journey goes back to sucking. But today -- it was glorious.

click to enlarge We believe it - JOE ESKENAZI
  • Joe Eskenazi
  • We believe it
For those of you who weren't among the vast crowd or watching it on TV (Rob Schneider announcing: He was available), here's what you missed:

  • Biggest cheers from the crowd were for Tim Lincecum, Brian Wilson, Buster Posey, and Cody Ross. Edgar Renteria also received deafening ovations -- and a large number of his fellow Colombians waved the nation's flag;

  • The big screens broadcasting the event to the Civic Center crowd gave everyone's face a bright orange Oompa-Loompa glow. Very apropos;

  • When Mayor Gavin Newsom made his first appearance on the big screen, he was booed. He was given a warm reception, however, compared to Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, who was completely drowned out by an angry chant of "Arnold sucks." Schwarzenegger's speech was inaudible; only the words "congratulations," "Giants" and "beard" (which he pronounces "be-ahd") could be made out;

  • Newsom seemed to channel a tent revivalist preacher when enthusiastically awarding the team the key to the city; with his gravely voice and frenetic cadence, he seemed ready to belt out a "can a get a witness? Uh-huh!" At one point, he syncopated the words "leadership," "stewardship," and "championship." Can we get a witness? Uh-huh!

  • The soon-to-be former mayor wowed the crowd with a Jerry Garcia reference, noting "You don't want to be the best of the best, you want to be the only one that does what you do." This, he said, was what the Giants did. The crowd ate it up and Newsom delivered the line well -- but it makes no sense. The Giants are the best of the best; that's what it is to win the World Series. Also, he used this same Jerry Garcia line in September when buttering up the Geary Street Merchants

  • The best public speaking Giants, bar none, are Brian Wilson and Aubrey Huff. The team's first baseman referenced a scene in the movie Zoolander, and pulled his "rally thong" up out of his pants and brandished it for the crowd. Countering Newsom's suggestion that Wilson could perhaps be the next mayor of this city, Wilson had a sexier idea. He suggested the Board of Supervisors tap "The Machine."

The notion is, of course, ridiculous. The supes should nominate Cody Ross. He owns this town.

They came, they saw, they conquered - JOE ESKENAZI
  • Joe Eskenazi
  • They came, they saw, they conquered

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About The Author

Joe Eskenazi

Joe Eskenazi

Bio:
Joe Eskenazi was born in San Francisco, raised in the Bay Area, and attended U.C. Berkeley. He never left. "Your humble narrator" was a staff writer and columnist for SF Weekly from 2007 to 2015. He resides in the Excelsior with his wife, 4.3 miles from his birthplace and 5,474 from hers.

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