Get SF Weekly Newsletters

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Top Five BP Oil Spill Conspiracies

Posted By on Thu, Jul 15, 2010 at 12:59 PM

click to enlarge You see? You see who's benefiting?
  • You see? You see who's benefiting?
The Deep Water Horizon's ongoing ruination of the Gulf Coast is one of the worst accidents in the history of humanity. But wait! Some people -- as some people always do -- aren't willing to concede this was an accident. This was ... a conspiracy!

Here's five that, we promise, we did not make up:

1. God

is mad.


time a relatively large-scale problem occurs, certain

Christians tell us it's a sign of God's wrath, a pact with the

devil, or a harbinger of the impending

apocalypse. Why would the oil spill be any different? And who says

certain Christians are wrong? Certainly not the governor

of Texas

2. Obama wants the spill to get worse.
When you think about it (while on certain drugs), the oil spill is actually a dream come true for President Obama. The worse the spill gets, the better the chance Obama has of imposing a carbon tax on the American people. Just another great example of our nefarious leader capitalizing on disaster, right Rep. Broun?

3. The entire world will be wiped out. Seriously.

There's no way to say this better. "BP's Deepwater Horizon drilling operation may have triggered an

irreversible, cascading geological Apocalypse that will culminate with

the first mass extinction of life on Earth in many millions of years."

4. The spill will create a second Bermuda Triangle.

According to Richard Hoagland, a gas large gas bubble may form beneath the spill that's similar to the one suspected to exist beneath the Bermuda Triangle. Then, it could explode underwater. By the way, Hoagland isn't a scientist and he doesn't play one on TV.

5. A Kremlin report says we have to nuke that sucka.

Follow us on Twitter at @TheSnitchSF

and @SFWeekly 

  • Pin It

Tags: , , , , , ,

About The Author

Ashley Harrell


Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Popular Stories

  1. Most Popular Stories
  2. Stories You Missed

Like us on Facebook


  • clipping at Brava Theater Sept. 11
    Sub Pop recording artists 'clipping.' brought their brand of noise-driven experimental hip hop to the closing night of 2016's San Francisco Electronic Music Fest this past Sunday. The packed Brava Theater hosted an initially seated crowd that ended the night jumping and dancing against the front of the stage. The trio performed a set focused on their recently released Sci-Fi Horror concept album, 'Splendor & Misery', then delved into their dancier and more aggressive back catalogue, and recent single 'Wriggle'. Opening performances included local experimental electronic duo 'Tujurikkuja' and computer music artist 'Madalyn Merkey.'"