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Friday, June 11, 2010

The Week in Gay - Vaughn Walker returns! Obama serves cocktails! Elton rims Rush!

Posted By on Fri, Jun 11, 2010 at 10:00 AM

click to enlarge Lennon then Limbaugh -- why not?
  • Lennon then Limbaugh -- why not?

OK ok ok ok...Elton John didn't really perform anal-lingus on Rush Limbaugh - technically - but he was paid $1 million to sing at Limbaugh's 4th (FOURTH) wedding last weekend and as far as I'm concerned Elton's breath will always smell like Rush's ass from now on. Gawker provided some aerial recognition for the celebrants and David Badash reminds us (and you, too Elton, you filthy, cheap whore) exactly why we don't like Limbaugh.

Now that's the way to start a review of the week in gay!

They know us!  They really, really know us!  CBS News reported poll results this week that say 77% of people polled know someone who is a cornholer or a muff diver.  There is a 35% increase in the number of people that admit to knowing a filthy gay since 1992.  That's swell, but only 48% think that same-sex relationships are acceptable.  They know us more than ever...but they only like us a little more.  You can't say we aren't trying to let people get to know us.  But Michael Pakaluk, a Boston, MA, Catholic, wishes we'd stop trying.

In a letter posted at The Pilot, a Catholic newsletter in Boston, Pakaluk objects to the children of same-sex couples attending Catholic school with his morally superior offspring.  He said, "A mother or father may volunteer to read to the class or chaperon for a class trip. If the homosexual parent does so, what guarantee would I have that he would not be an advocate for his lifestyle, implicitly if not explicitly?"

How does Mr. Pakaluk implicitly or explicitly advocate for his lifestyle while reading or being a chaperon?  Does he grab the tits on women passing by while on field trips to the zoo?  What does he read to his children - The Happy Hooker by Xaviera Hollander?  What a dick.   

Speaking of dicks - the Obama administration is having a party to celebrate Pride month!  A select group of invitees (only those that have unstoppable BP oil spill type orgasms over the Democratic Party) will drink and dance in the White House long enough for photos to be taken that will be included in the next fund raising campaign by the Human Rights Campaign (HRC).  That's how it works, folks!  Please dress accordingly.   

The party goers will be in their best behavior even though the administration is promoting a false "repeal" of Don't Ask Don't Tell and the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network warns that discharges will continue without interruption.  Just keep doing what you are doing gay cheerleaders.  Don't stop and think about how you are helping perpetuate status quo by being courteous and obedient in the presence of power while your fellows long to serve openly, work, marry, adopt, or immigrate.  Hope those cocktails are tasty, fuckers.   

Promise me that at least ONE of you will leave behind an upper decker as a parting gift.  Is that too much to ask?

Fasten your seat belts kiddies, final arguments on the Prop 8 trial will be heard next week after about 4000 months of waiting while Judge Vaughn Walker pondered and ate dinner in the Castro.  The judge issued nine pages of questions that he wants answered next week.  Among some complex questions Walker also asks, "Does my slip show?  Should I have my eyes done?  Don't you love Gaga?"   

Gavin Newsom loves Lady Gaga.  The Mayor even watched Lady Gaga's interview on Larry King while taking a ride on his disco stick.   

Finally, and to call this a moment of GAY in the past week is a bit of a stretch, but it's getting a mention anyway.  Republican Senatorial candidate Carly Fiorina was captured on an open microphone making a catty remark about Democratic opponent Barbara Boxer's hairdo.  Fiorina looks like Ruth Buzzi and sounds like a drag queen.  How is this NOT worthy of a mention in The Week in Gay?

Patrick Connors is an uppity fag that is an explicit advocate for his lifestyle.   

Follow us on Twitter @uppityfag and @TheSnitchSF

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