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Thursday, May 20, 2010

Nattily Dressed Masturbator Lurks in Park

Posted By on Thu, May 20, 2010 at 12:01 AM

click to enlarge Apparel like this was just the start of it...
  • Apparel like this was just the start of it...
A man with a notable sense of fashion -- and a notable lack of apparel in the one place society demands you cover -- was reported terrorizing passers-by in Crocker Amazon Park.

At a shade before 9 a.m. on Tuesday, a woman spotted a man in the following memorable get-up: A 28- to 30-year-old, 5-foot-8 and 170 pounds wearing a green beanie, plaid shorts, a beige long-sleeved shirt, and slippers.

He was also masturbating and invited the woman to have sex with him.

Two male park-goers then intervened and the masturbator "ran away toward Prague," according to the police report. Prague the city is east; Prague the street is north.

Officers could find neither hide nor hair nor plaid shorts nor slippers of the alleged pervert -- though the victim claims his appearance rang a bell and he may live in the area. Excelsior residents: If you see a man with plaid shorts, slippers, and a green beanie, do not take the law into your own hands no matter what he takes into his own hands.

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About The Author

Joe Eskenazi

Joe Eskenazi

Joe Eskenazi was born in San Francisco, raised in the Bay Area, and attended U.C. Berkeley. He never left. "Your humble narrator" was a staff writer and columnist for SF Weekly from 2007 to 2015. He resides in the Excelsior with his wife, 4.3 miles from his birthplace and 5,474 from hers.


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