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Thursday, May 13, 2010

Dear San Francisco: 'I Don't Want My Family to See Your Gays'

Posted By on Thu, May 13, 2010 at 12:45 PM

Right-wingers will punish San Francisco by skipping the city on their vacations and heading to Arizona instead. In the heart of summer. Good luck with that.
  • Right-wingers will punish San Francisco by skipping the city on their vacations and heading to Arizona instead. In the heart of summer. Good luck with that.
The best of enraged right-wingers' letters to San Francisco, canceling their vacations here because of the city's Arizona boycott

We reported earlier about 200 enraged letter-writers who canceled their San Francisco vacations after the city weighed in on the state of Arizona's controversial immigration law -- and saw fit to shower the San Francisco Convention and Visitor's Bureau with written explanations.

We have now obtained and read 160 of the letters. A recurring theme: These folks have seen fit to punish San Francisco by not coming here -- and will instead spend the middle of summer in the nuclear furnace conditions of the Arizona.

Hailing from locales such as Washington and Michigan, they're apparently unaware what a fetid, ugly, 120-degrees-in-the-shade place that state can be. This is the unseen toll of the Board of Supervisors' Tuesday decision to approve a limited and largely symbolic Arizona boycott: Teenagers wilting in the intolerable heat, lovebirds baking in ugliness rather than sipping wine in Napa Valley, and poor, pathetic crackers who somehow believe they're striking a blow against hated Mexicans by having a "good time" in the sweltering sprawl of summertime in greater Phoenix.

Donald J. Bowen, a computer networking guy from Emporia, Va., seems to believe the boycott has even afforded him a double-whammy of hate: "THANK YOU FOR THE ARIZONA BOYCOTT BECAUSE I DON'T WANT MY FAMILY TO SEE YOUR GAYS WHEN I GET THERE," Bowen writes in all-caps.

click to enlarge They're also good eatin' ...
  • They're also good eatin' ...
A dearth of attractive San Francisco homosexuals

won't be the only ugliness Bowen's in for in Arizona. Based on his

naive travel plans, we're betting he's never felt

temperatures that melt cocktail ice in 40 seconds flat.

Correspondent Ken Fournet, who doesn't disclose he's from, wrote "I have today canceled my reservations to spend our 30th anniversary in San Francisco for later this month. Instead, I am making reservations to stay in Tempe. Thank God that the Arizona governor is making Arizona a safer place."

A 30th anniversary in the Phoenix suburbs? Why punish Mrs. Fournet for San Francisco's misdeeds?

Mikey, from Portage, Mich., sends a similar note: "I just wanted to take a moment to let you know that, while I was considering a trip to San Francisco and the wine country with my girlfriend this summer, I'm instead going to spend that vacation money in Arizona enjoying the desert sights. ... I'm contacting all my friends, who will contact all their friends, and so on and so on, and before you know it your tourism dollar will be affected."

Our advice: Cherish your final, pre-vacation weeks with that girlfriend, Mikey. After an hour or so roasting in the desert, she'll be ready to move on.

Michael Dorman writes: "Alas, our Memorial Day travel plans will not include a family trip to San Francisco. We will take our three teenagers elsewhere -- perhaps Arizona."

Poor things. The Dorman kids' dad apparently didn't know that when used together in a sentence, "Memorial Day," "Arizona" "Three teenagers" and "family action" portend  extraordinary suffering. Some advice: Kids, don't assault your father. This is something he feels strongly about. Bide your time and, in just a few more years, you'll never again be forced to suffer summertime Arizona heat, Mexican-bashing relatives, or the combination of both in a family sedan.

Mitch York, hailing from parts unknown, writes: "I am canceling my vacation to San Francisco this summer and instead my family and friends are headed to a week of golf in Scottsdale, Arizona... We will be very active in contacted (sic) others to do the same."

Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Hey, what's that we hear? It's York and 10 of his friends getting burned by their white-hot seat-belts.

Follow us on Twitter at @TheSnitchSF and @SFWeekly

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