Get SF Weekly Newsletters

Monday, May 10, 2010

Dallas Braden's Perfect Game Is Perfect Story: Sweetness and Schadenfreude

Posted By on Mon, May 10, 2010 at 7:59 AM

Yesterday, Oakland Athletics starter Dallas Braden tossed a perfect game -- retiring every opposing batter and allowing nary a one to reach first base. For the non-sports fans out there this, to borrow Vice President Joe Biden's lexicon, is a big fu**ing deal.

In many ways, Braden's perfect game is the perfect story. It has three things going for it: spectacle, sweetness, and schadenfreude. The spectacle is simple enough: This is just the 19th perfect game in the league's century-plus history. To put things in perspective, more than 5,000 games were played this year alone. Remember what Joe Biden said.

Then there's the sweetness: Braden pitched his gem on Mother's Day. The grandmother who raised him after his mother's premature death was in the stands to watch

And, finally, the schadenfreude. Until the last out Sunday against the Tampa Bay Rays, Braden was best known as the obscure pitcher who went berserk after baseball's least likable superstar violated an even more obscure unwritten rule.

Last month, Braden exploded on the field after New York Yankees slugger Alex Rodriguez lazily jogged up and over the pitcher's mound while heading back to first base after a foul ball. Well, apparently, you just don't do that.

Braden's fervor in decrying this unwritten baseball rule was a bit on the maniacal side. But Rodriguez' smug dismissal of this peon who dared to chide him fit in all too well with every element of his entitled, phony persona that rubs fans the wrong way. In essence, he claimed that Braden, "a guy that has a handful of wins in his career," wasn't fit to criticize the behavior of the Mighty Alex Rodriguez.

That statement just about says everything. And, when you think about it, so does Braden's Mother's Day rejoinder. But, if anyone needed it spelled out for them, Braden's grandmother, Peggy Lindsey, was there to do it for us following the pitcher's perfect game: "Stick it, A-Rod."

  • Pin It

Tags: , , , , ,

About The Author

Joe Eskenazi

Joe Eskenazi

Joe Eskenazi was born in San Francisco, raised in the Bay Area, and attended U.C. Berkeley. He never left. "Your humble narrator" was a staff writer and columnist for SF Weekly from 2007 to 2015. He resides in the Excelsior with his wife, 4.3 miles from his birthplace and 5,474 from hers.


Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Popular Stories

  1. Most Popular Stories
  2. Stories You Missed

Like us on Facebook


  • clipping at Brava Theater Sept. 11
    Sub Pop recording artists 'clipping.' brought their brand of noise-driven experimental hip hop to the closing night of 2016's San Francisco Electronic Music Fest this past Sunday. The packed Brava Theater hosted an initially seated crowd that ended the night jumping and dancing against the front of the stage. The trio performed a set focused on their recently released Sci-Fi Horror concept album, 'Splendor & Misery', then delved into their dancier and more aggressive back catalogue, and recent single 'Wriggle'. Opening performances included local experimental electronic duo 'Tujurikkuja' and computer music artist 'Madalyn Merkey.'"