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Friday, April 16, 2010

The Week in Gay: New Trend in 2010 -- Same-Sex Bedpans!

Posted By on Fri, Apr 16, 2010 at 2:10 PM

Uppity Fag has his eye on the one on the bottom left...
  • Uppity Fag has his eye on the one on the bottom left...
Late yesterday afternoon President Barack Obama signed a mandate that extends hospital visitation rights to same-sex couples in hospitals throughout the country.


While some may hail this as a victory for gay rights, the bottom line is same-sex couples are still second-class citizens in this country.

I don't want to be a total curmudgeon. This weekend, my husband Rob and I will go shopping for shoes to match our hospital gowns. I simply can't WAIT to be hospitalized so I can be forcibly extended the respect that is freely given to any heterosexual couple going through a medical crisis. Americans are such compassionate people! The least I can do is look good when I'm bleeding to death.

To the casual observer the news about queers getting hospital visitation rights was THE big headline of the week, but really the story about this sudden development began a few days earlier.

On Wednesday, Americablog reported that the "...White House congressional liaison office is telling US House members...not to have a vote on DADT on the House floor this year." Isn't that shocking? In Obama's State of the Union address just three months ago he promised to repeal Don't Ask Don't Tell (DADT), the ban on gays serving in the military, this year. Maybe Joe Wilson was right after all.

But on Thursday morning, the White House said those reports were false: " no time has the White House asked any Member to take this issue off the table." Phew! That settles that. But does it really?

Hot on the heels of the denial of the DADT rumor, the White House informs the media about a queer-friendly party the president wants to throw in an emergency room near YOU. I don't think that is a mere coincidence.

Would it be cynical to look at these developments and conclude that maybe -- just maybe -- the administration doesn't want to play the DADT card yet and instead pulled the hospital-visitation joker out of its sleeve? We know Obama has a hospital visitation fetish, so it seems entirely possible that this is the latest LGBT rights shell game.

Creeping up on the Congressional horizon is a potential vote on the Employment Non Discrimination Act (ENDA). But first Rep. Barney Frank says we must lobby the Senate like the National Rifle Association does. o we really have to talk like this lunatic in order to not be fired from a job? There are a dozen Senators still on the fence. The House is supposedly secure.

In asshole news: Teabaggers in Michigan have been sporting T-shirts that promote Straight Pride. They are very chic! I bet straight Tea Party morons wear them to the hospital when they visit each other after having a lobotomy. Mike Huckabee is a dick, but we already knew that, right? In case you aren't sure, when he was asked about same-sex marriage he said, "There are some people who believe in incest, so we should accommodate them (too)." See what I mean?

Surprising no one in California, the only group working on a repeal of Prop. 8 in 2010 announced it was unsuccessful in the effort to gather signatures for the ballot measure. Always the voice of extreme blandness and moderation, the Bay Area Reporter (BAR) chastised the Restore Equality 2010 campaign for failing at the task. To the BAR, Restore Equality is a rinky-dink version of Equality California (EQCA).

The BAR must have forgotten that EQCA was the organization behind No on 8, the failed campaign from 2008. They've supposedly got all the connections and all the money. If EQCA is so great, why did they do such a terrible job two years ago?

EQCA has since hired a Marriage Director to run the repeal effort in 2012. Marc Solomon met with members of the LGBT community this week in San Francisco to discuss (aka control) messaging.

Yep...sounds like another thrilling political death match coming. The National Organization of Marriage will ride a broomstick through the state warning everyone that gays want to sexually torture children and EQCA will respond with a benign advertisement starring old people crying over a picture of their adult child: "My daughter is a dyke. Please don't hurt her!"

If the next campaign is anything like the last one, EQCA is likely to be around for many years to come. Under their guidance, Prop. 8 will never be repealed, but the BAR will continue to applaud their efforts.

One last note -- what is a week in gay without a mention of Constance McMillen? It's bullshit, that's what! You remember Constance is the gal from Mississippi who was totally screwed out of a high school prom by a bunch of thumb-sucking morons. Well she is going to be a Grand Marshall of the New York City Pride parade this summer. Good for you, Constance!

She won't get the prom she wanted, but she'll be able to visit her girlfriend in the hospital when the gal is mugged in New York City. Ain't that the American dream?

Patrick Connors is an uppity fag who needs his temperature taken.

Follow us on Twitter: @TheSnitchSF and @uppityfag

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