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Friday, March 5, 2010

What Should Sacramento Football Team, Stolen from S.F., Be Named?

Posted By on Fri, Mar 5, 2010 at 6:30 AM

Easy come, easy go... - JOE ESKENAZI
  • Joe Eskenazi
  • Easy come, easy go...
Earlier this week we reported that the California Redwoods of the United Football League have been purloined by Sacramento. For the 27 guys who bought a radioactive green Redwoods home jersey -- you have just been violated.

Of course, this comes as no surprise. Did you know the Redwoods played three games at AT&T Park? Probably not. Even the Culture Bus saw better crowds than this team. Sacramento is a far more suitable town for an alternative professional league (fans supported the Sacramento Surge of the WLAF and Gold Miners of the CFL USA). Even owner Paul Pelosi (above right) acknowledged this might happen -- right at the press conference announcing the team's initial season in San Francisco: "I don't know where we're going to end up ... We're a Northern California team."

Now, "Redwoods" is just as terrible a name for Sacramento as it is for San Francisco. But the freshly purloined squad has announced it's searching for a new title. Can you supply it? What screams "Sacramento" to you? 

Keep in mind, even if you come up with a truly stellar idea, the team will probably go with something boring and safe -- due to miscreants who trademark all the good names and prey on "teams who don't do their due diligence," according to UFL Commissioner Michael Huyghue (above left). Click on the link for our best efforts; add yours in the comments section:

  • The Sacramento Partisans
  • The Sacramento Sacraments
  • The Sacramento Gridlock
  • The Sacramento Senators
  • The Sacramento Smog
  • The Sacramento Governators
  • The Sacramento SuperMajority
  • The Sacramento Rogues
  • The Sacramento Pimentos
  • The Sacramento Experiment
And, rest. Our multiple memories of sweating into khaki pants during the capital's broiling summers do not inspire any more naming possibilities. Give us your best shot.

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About The Author

Joe Eskenazi

Joe Eskenazi

Joe Eskenazi was born in San Francisco, raised in the Bay Area, and attended U.C. Berkeley. He never left. "Your humble narrator" was a staff writer and columnist for SF Weekly from 2007 to 2015. He resides in the Excelsior with his wife, 4.3 miles from his birthplace and 5,474 from hers.


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