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Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Here Are Some More Things Muni Should Charge Us For

Posted By on Wed, Mar 3, 2010 at 12:59 PM

click to enlarge Don't worry. No one's going to start charging you half a buck for this Halloween costume. - JOE ESKENAZI
  • Joe Eskenazi
  • Don't worry. No one's going to start charging you half a buck for this Halloween costume.
In an early nominee for "Most Tin-Eared Municipal Proposal of 2010," Muni officials posited yesterday that riders ought to cough up an extra fifty cents to receive a transfer. Not surprisingly, the proposal was swiftly withdrawn.

But when you think about it, there are a lot of things that Muni isn't charging for that it easily could. And, unlike the metaphorical stone, there's still plenty of blood to be squeezed from the average commuter. And once all the blood is gone, there are probably some salvageable minerals to be found in the dried husks. Here are some ideas we came up with for creative ways Muni can rake in some extra cash.

1. A $1 fee for stopping the bus to allow boarding.

2. A 75-cent charge for breathing refreshing Muni-brand air. It's better than regular air because it smells like rapidly defrosting groceries.

3. A $15 charge for watching exciting Muni Fightz. ©

A $10 charge for being rescued from an exciting Muni Fightz. ©

5. A $1 seat charge. Some people get to sit for free while others stand? That seems unFARE.

6. A $2 window seat charge. Because San Francisco is pretty, that's why!

7. A $5 charge for nudity. (Applies to voyeurs and flashers. Also, service animals.)

8. A $1 baggage charge. A laptop bag AND a gym bag? Someone's showing off.

9. A $2 bike rack fee. You had a bike and you're taking up space on the bus? C'mon.

10. A $1 disembarking fee. You're here! Are you still alive? That's going to cost you!

In case we've missed anything, leave your suggestions in the comments.

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Andy Wright


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