Get SF Weekly Newsletters

Friday, November 27, 2009

Craigslist Free Stuff: Thanksgiving Leftovers Translated

Posted By on Fri, Nov 27, 2009 at 2:30 PM

In case you didn't get to consume quite enough last night, the great repository of all things left over has got you covered. And this time you can actually scoop up leftovers in the traditional sense. On the surface, these may seem like run-of-the-mill bids to unload unwanted excess, but if you look closely you can uncover the interior human dramas. We helpfully translate them for you.


sweet_pototoes.jpg

Translation: Thanks for the sweet potatoes, Step Dad, but no thanks. The kids hate them. I've told you a million times, but you never listen to me,anyway. Not that it matters.

click to enlarge cranberry.jpg

Translation: We invited all these people over for dinner and no one showed up because our friends who live across town deep-fried a turkey and everyone went there instead. I guess if you're into cheap stunts, then that might be your bag. Those guys are always trying to upstage us. We've always hated them.

oil.jpg
Translation: God, last night was fun. Oh, man. When Trevor put the lampshade on the dog's head, that was really a riot. A total riot. Sorry, not trying to brag. I mean, you should have come. We invited you! Sorry, we knew you were having your own party. But, I mean, we were tired of just doing the same old thing. I mean, it's nothing personal! Seriously. Some people really like green bean casserole. They do. Anyway, do you need some oil?

click to enlarge no_help.jpg
Translation: None needed. Yet another person's sense of charity is crushed by the Holiday Season. Their existential crisis is your grocery boon.
  • Pin It

Tags: , , , ,

About The Author

Andy Wright

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Popular Stories

  1. Most Popular Stories
  2. Stories You Missed

Like us on Facebook

Slideshows

  • clipping at Brava Theater Sept. 11
    Sub Pop recording artists 'clipping.' brought their brand of noise-driven experimental hip hop to the closing night of 2016's San Francisco Electronic Music Fest this past Sunday. The packed Brava Theater hosted an initially seated crowd that ended the night jumping and dancing against the front of the stage. The trio performed a set focused on their recently released Sci-Fi Horror concept album, 'Splendor & Misery', then delved into their dancier and more aggressive back catalogue, and recent single 'Wriggle'. Opening performances included local experimental electronic duo 'Tujurikkuja' and computer music artist 'Madalyn Merkey.'"