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1 p.m. - Land Use & Economic Development CommitteeThis meeting is pretty packed actually, including:
• Proposed zoning amendments to Bayview Hunters Point and the Third Street and Le Conte Avenue Affordable Housing Special Use District;
• The creation of "Infill Opportunity Zones for Congestion management";
• A proposed change to the way the Planning Department handles "Discretionary Reviews."
NEWSOM: "The change will make them a lot less discretionary."
BENJAMIN: "Is that a good thing?"
NEWSOM: "It will make it a lot easier to add a deck to your back porch or build a dozen new condo units. Things you'll never do, based on this apartment."
BENJAMIN: "What's that supposed to mean?"
NEWSOM: "It means that with decorations like these I'd say you were a serial killer, except that serial killers have an active lifestyle."
BENJAMIN: "Low blow!"
NEWSOM: "These changes would also make it a lot harder for you, as a socially maladjusted would-be serial killer who deeply resents the success of better-looking people, to stop someone from adding a deck to their back porch or building a dozen new condo units. The system won't take you as seriously. So it's kind of a win-win."
BENJAMIN: "You're the children's book version of an Ayn Rand character. You know that?"
NEWSOM: "Yep. And I'm 'Going Galt Junior' on San Francisco's ass."
BENJAMIN: "While you're doing that, important things will still be happening at this meeting. One of them is John Avalos' continuing attempt to get eviction protection extended to almost all renters in San Francisco ."
NEWSOM: "Can't we all join hands and agree that SOMEBODY in San Francisco actually deserves to be evicted?"
BENJAMIN: "But for sheer pathos, I think that Sophie Maxwell's hearing on African American infant mortality rates in San Francisco comes out a winner."
NEWSOM: "High infant mortality rates?"
BENJAMIN: "Yep."
NEWSOM: "Here in San Francisco?"
BENJAMIN: "Yep."
NEWSOM: "Yikes."
BENJAMIN: "Yeah."
NEWSOM: "Somebody really ought to do something about that."
BENJAMIN: "Yeah."
(Pause)
NEWSOM: "Don't look at me like that."
BENJAMIN: "Why not?"
NEWSOM: "Because all the supervisors want to do is spend more money, that we don't have, on a system that is failing in so many small ways in so many places that we can't even effectively spend the money we do have. That's not going to accomplish anything."
BENJAMIN: "Wow. Somebody really ought to do something about that."
NEWSOM: "Exactly!"
(Pause)
NEWSOM: "Don't look at me like that."
BENJAMIN: "I'm just saying ..."
NEWSOM: "It's not like the media's chomping at the bit to write about the high rate of infant mortality among African Americans in San Francisco! Just remember: the Chronicle did an 11-part series on fog."
(Pause)
BENJAMIN: "Don't look at me like that."
NEWSOM: "I thought so."
BENJAMIN: "We'll just ... move on then."
NEWSOM: "Yeah."
BENJAMIN: "The next meeting is the ...
