Monday, Nov. 16, 2 p.m. - Public Safety Committee
It's an exciting time to be on the Public Safety Committee. Swine flu is rampant, there's a new top cop in town, and SOMEBODY needs to decide if Hugues de La Plaza was: (a) the victim of a grisly murder, or; (b) a committed neat freak to the very end.
The committee will be touching on several of these issues today, in the form of its regularly scheduled crime-n-stuff hearing, as well as approving grants for things like a swine flu "information and guidance team" -- to make sure that, when the swine flu arrives, it will know where all the best hotels are.
But none of this really touches on the greatest threat to public safety in San Francisco: chupacabra, the blood-sucking goat demon of Mexico.
Tuesday, Nov. 17
12:25 p.m. - a very special meeting of the Budget & Finance Committee
You know how Gavin Newsom has been all like "We need to balance our budget, and nurses don't need to eat! So I'm going to cut all their salaries!"
And then the union was all "What do we want? EVERYTHING! When do we want it? BACK WHEN WE SHOULD HAVE AGREED TO MORE LIMITED CONCESSIONS WHEN THEY WERE OFFERED!"
And then the Guardian was all "These positions are mostly held by minorities and working women, which makes PG&E a racist and a misogynist! We must get out of Afghanistan!"
And then the supervisors were all "We will not stand for this!" except that they then stood for this?
Well, that's what this meeting's about. They're going to try to not stand for this again.
This issue's like a fight on Muni: It just won't stop, and everybody's watching.
To be clear: The supes need eight votes to override the mayor's cuts, and they have seven. The pressure is on Sophie Maxwell, who is to swing votes what Bennie Goodman is to swing music.
2 p.m. - Full Board of Supervisors
Technically this meeting is actually two meetings, one that begins at 2 p.m., and another that interrupts it at 2:05 p.m. so that the Supes can vote again on restoring funding to the public health cuts that the mayor made.
Remember how I was just talking about that, and I was all "I'm making fun of everybody's position! I'm a journalist!" Yeah, it's that thing.
Really, I could stop describing the meeting now, because that's the only part that anybody's going to care about. But just in case you're interested in what else they're doing, I will tell you to go seek help.
Seriously. Go outside. Talk to a friend who doesn't get involved in politics. Listen to music. Pray. Do something. But get help.
If you really think you want to know what else the supes are doing at this meeting, then check this out: There is a resolution, by Eric "Substantive Legislation Scares Me" Mar, to endorse "the first World March for Peace and Nonviolence, calling for the end of war and nuclear arms, and the elimination of violence of all kinds."
Fantastic. Because, if we didn't have a Board of Supervisors, who would endorse the end of violence?
Wednesday, Nov. 18, 11 a.m. - Budget and Finance Committee
No nurses will be mentioned at this meeting. If you've come to talk about nurses, nursing, cuts to nurses, how Gavin Newsom doesn't value nurses, Nurse Jackie, or your fantasy of doing it with two nurses who are angry about budget cuts, go home. You will be disappointed.
Instead, this committee will talk about $45 million in Port Commission revenue bonds, and the City Controller's report on the city's first fiscal quarter (the butler did it!), and the Redevelopment Agency budget.
Just because I like you, I'm going to give you the inside scoop on the Controller's report about the city's financial shape. According to the executive summary, and I'm quoting here:
"Aaaaaah! It burns! It burns! Make it stop! Oh God!"
Thursday, Nov. 19
10 a.m. - Rules Committee
It's another big week for lawsuits in the City and County of San Francisco. According to my informal tally, based only on the information provided in the meeting agenda, the city is set to take in $1,260,000 from legal settlements, but pay out $2,389,500, for a net loss of $1,129,500.
Bad week for Dennis Herrera. That's gotta hurt.
Incidentally, I wonder if "Please don't sue us: We're trying to pay for nurses" is a valid legal defense?
Also up on the agenda are appointments to the Graffiti Advisory Board, the Eastern Neighborhoods Citizens Advisory Committee, and the San Francisco Redevelopment Agency. I can't tell you how many times I've heard that there ain't no party like an Eastern Neighborhoods Citizens Advisory Committee party.
The meeting concludes with two proposals by Supervisor Michela Alioto-Pier, one of which (we'll call it the "silly proposal") requires San Francisco to declare a "Small Business Month" and to "recognize" small businesses during it. Yeah, that'll solve our problems.
The other proposal deals with the contract procedures for the newly created Historic Preservation Commission. Much of San Francisco, and all of its developers, are on pins and needles waiting to see how the HPC will operate.
I have no idea if Alioto-Pier's proposal make sense: It's been altered several times since it was first proposed in late September, and I don't have access to the current legislation as of my deadline. But this is a very real issue, and everybody who plans to live here longer than ... say ... five more years probably has a dog in this fight.
Just remember that no dog is a match for Chupacabra.
3:30 p.m. - City and School District Joint Committee
Hello! This committee hasn't shown up for a while!
It's an incredibly good idea for a committee: having the School Board and the City Supervisors sit in the same room and work out ways to jointly address their common issues. But mostly it sits dormant, except for when the school assignment system is in the news again, at which point it calls a meeting to "monitor" the situation.
Let's see what's on the agenda this time, shall we?
Oh, look, a "Hearing on the status of the San Francisco Unified School District's student assignment system," and nothing else.
I guess the city and school district have nothing else to talk about.
That's a good sign, right?
And finally ...
... There will be special LAFCo meeting on Friday at 2 p.m..
What are we going to talk about at this meeting, LAFCo?
The same thing we talk about every month, Public Utilities Commission: public power!
All those in favor of replacing LAFCo and the PUC with an animated buddy comedy, raise your hands.
The ayes have it.
It might actually speed up the process.
