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Friday, November 6, 2009

It's Your Friday Morning News Quiz!

Posted By on Fri, Nov 6, 2009 at 7:30 AM

click to enlarge Need someone to help you figure out how many grams are in an ounce? Here's your ace.
  • Need someone to help you figure out how many grams are in an ounce? Here's your ace.
Gavin! Timmy! Tyson Beckford! Grizzly Bear! Immunity to cereal! What a week. But were you paying attention?

1. Putting the bizarre cherry atop a surreal sundae, an expert witness gave what rationale for 21-year-old homeless man Kenneth Herron entering the San Francisco Zoo's Grizzly Bear Grotto?

A. The defendant believed he was a spiritual cousin of the bears, and wished to free them from their metaphysical bonds
B. The defendant became flummoxed when attempting to exit the park, and found himself in the bear pit.
C. The bears beckoned him to enter the area
D. The voice of a male model told him to enter the bear pit and save a troubled woman.

2. Speaking of Herron's trial, the judge made a counter-intuitive ruling and tossed the trespassing charge filed against the bear-baiter. What did a legal expert called by SF Weekly exclaim when perusing the pertinent case law?

A. "Holy Mackerel! You can go into a bear place, spend the night, and not violate any laws."
B. "Wow! Who wouldn't want to jump into the bear pit now?"
C. "That is the god-damnest thing I ever saw."
D. "I can't believe he made that ruling. And I can't believe I agree with him."

3. So, Gavin Newsom dropped out of the governor's race. How did he explain this to his legions of Twitter followers?

A."Sorry Folks. Had 2 put the fam 1st." 
B."The $ Race was a killr. I h8 it." 
C. "O-bla-di, o-bla-da, life goes on, bra."
D. " ... "

click to enlarge A bus blast from the past...
  • A bus blast from the past...
4. Giants ace Tim Lincecum was cited for misdemeanor Marijuana possession in his native Washington. He was caught with 3.3 grams of pot. How many ounces is that?

A. Just under one-eighth
B. Just over one-half
C. 1.2
D. 1.6

5. City Attorney Dennis Herrera prevailed in his demand of the Kellogg's cereal company that it retract what claim on boxes of Cocoa Krispies?

A. The cereal improves one's libido
B. The cereal is made by union workers
C. The cereal boosts one's immune system
D. The cereal now has 40 percent fewer calories than before

6. Paul McAdoo is:

A. The Chris Daly aide found sleeping on Justin Herman Plaza
B. The man who photographed Gavin Newsom eating a coconut in Hawaii
C. The dementia patient who was missing for nearly three weeks until turning up in San Francisco
D. The Muni driver who fought off three members of the MS-13 gang with his tire iron

click to enlarge A bus blast from the past...
  • A bus blast from the past...
7. Which of the following Muni lines will be nixed?

A. The 26
B. The 7
C. The 4
D. The 53
E. The 89
F. All of these
G. None of these

8. Scott Gerber is:

A. The West Portal resident who single-handedly broke up a convenience store robbery with a pot of boiling coffee
B. The mayoral aide who signed Gavin Newsom's going-to-Hawaii letter for Newsom -- with Newsom's signature
C. The Jerry Brown spokesman who quit after admitting he'd recorded calls from reporters
D. The judge in the Kenneth Herron Grizzly Bear Grotto case

9. The nickname of the San Francisco Giants' new hitting coach is:

A. Bam Bam
B. Slam Slam
C. Bang Bang
D. Steve

10. Which key engagement didn't Gavin Newsom skip while on his Hawaiian sojourn?

A. Urban Land Institute Conference
B. ChinaSF
C. Willie Brown's election breakfast
D. The Building Owners and Managers Association's annual fund-raiser for Legionnaire's Disease 

1. D; 2. A; 3. D; 4. A; 5. C; 6. C; 7.F; 8. C; 9. A; 10. D    

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About The Author

Joe Eskenazi

Joe Eskenazi

Joe Eskenazi was born in San Francisco, raised in the Bay Area, and attended U.C. Berkeley. He never left. "Your humble narrator" was a staff writer and columnist for SF Weekly from 2007 to 2015. He resides in the Excelsior with his wife, 4.3 miles from his birthplace and 5,474 from hers.


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