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Friday, September 11, 2009

It's Your Friday Morning News Quiz!

Posted By on Fri, Sep 11, 2009 at 7:30 AM

click to enlarge What was the F'd up part of the bridge again?
  • What was the F'd up part of the bridge again?
This was a week for openings. The bridge opened, a sex club opened in one of the city's least sexy locales, and, speaking of openness and sexiness, an elephantine state Assemblyman was remarkably frank with his astoundingly filthy claims of sexual conquests of women who had pending government business before his legislative boards. Phew! It's time for a weekend. But first, a news quiz.

1. Xiyu Li is:

A. The crewman who died after falling off a San Francisco Bay cargo ship Thursday
B. The inspector who approved the Bay Bridge to be reopened
C. The man killed by S.F. police after allegedly charging at them with a meat cleaver
D. The inventor of the lint roll

2.The correct spelling of the name of the 20-year-old starting pitcher the Giants tossed into action this week is: 

A. B-A-U-M-G-A-R-T-N-E-R
B. B-A-U-M-G-A-U-R-T
C. B-U-M-G-A-R-N-E-R
D. B-O-O-M-H-A-U-E-R
E. B-O-N-D, J-A-M-E-S B-O-N-D

3. The problem that very nearly kept the Bay Bridge closed another day -- but didn't -- involved a damaged:

A. Eyebar 
B. Gaybar
C. Rebar
D. Armbar

click to enlarge Say my name, say my name...
  • Say my name, say my name...
4. Which of the following was the Bay Area's Van Jones not accused of before being forced to resign his White House environmental advisory position amidst a cacophony of right-wing insinuations?

A. 9/11 conspiracy-mongering
B. Black nationalist-mongering
C. Communist-mongering
D. Green Jobs-mongering

5. San Franciscan William Pious is accused by the police of dousing his sleeping neighbor in what?

A. Pig's blood
B. Boiling oil
C. Weeks worth of bottled urine
D. Thousands of maggots

6. Which of these statements did disgraced former Assemblyman Michael Duvall not utter into an open microphone?

A. "She wears little eye-patch underwear."
B. "She's all, 'I am going up and down the stairs and you're dripping out of me!' So messy!" 
C. "It is exactly two years since I first took her up the wrong'un."
D. "So, I am getting into spanking her."

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About The Author

Joe Eskenazi

Joe Eskenazi

Joe Eskenazi was born in San Francisco, raised in the Bay Area, and attended U.C. Berkeley. He never left. "Your humble narrator" was a staff writer and columnist for SF Weekly from 2007 to 2015. He resides in the Excelsior with his wife, 4.3 miles from his birthplace and 5,474 from hers.


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  • clipping at Brava Theater Sept. 11
    Sub Pop recording artists 'clipping.' brought their brand of noise-driven experimental hip hop to the closing night of 2016's San Francisco Electronic Music Fest this past Sunday. The packed Brava Theater hosted an initially seated crowd that ended the night jumping and dancing against the front of the stage. The trio performed a set focused on their recently released Sci-Fi Horror concept album, 'Splendor & Misery', then delved into their dancier and more aggressive back catalogue, and recent single 'Wriggle'. Opening performances included local experimental electronic duo 'Tujurikkuja' and computer music artist 'Madalyn Merkey.'"