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Friday, September 4, 2009

Worry Not, BART-Riders. That Brown Material Smeared on the Seats Is Chocolate (We Think).

Posted By on Fri, Sep 4, 2009 at 10:59 AM

click to enlarge Mass-transit riders the world over can be forgiven for not assuming the brown stains on the train are chocolate. BART riders are no exception.
  • Mass-transit riders the world over can be forgiven for not assuming the brown stains on the train are chocolate. BART riders are no exception.
Workers who normally drive into the city were likely surprised to be handed a piece of Ghirardelli chocolate as they exited the BART station this morning. Would Bay Bridge toll-takers have disseminated sweets if BART had gone on strike? We think not.

Riders may be less pleased when they return to their homes this evening and have to kick through discarded candy wrappers and ponder what, exactly, that viscous brown material on the train's seats or carpeting is.

This possibility hasn't escaped BART's leadership. Nor has the fact that the last two BART giveaways have been chocolate and coffee -- and riders are forbidden from quaffing either while within trains or stations.

"We gave away 65,000 chocolates, so I'm sure some wrappers will end up on the trains," admitted Bob Franklin, a BART Board Member. But, he adds, it's no coincidence that the goodies were handed to riders as they exited the stations today, not as they entered.

"I don't know if people will eat the chocolates immediately at 8 in the morning. I would."

Of course, since, again, both coffee and chocolate are forbidden on BART -- and for good reason; the stains from dropping either while on board are difficult to remove and look decidedly fecal -- it remains to be seen what verboten product will next be handed out to riders. Spray paint? Loud radios? Soda (brown, of course)? Glue? Charcoal lighter? Fertilizer? Bowls of soup?

"Those all sound like good ideas," says Franklin -- who has a good sense of humor. "So long as they're willing to sponsor it."

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About The Author

Joe Eskenazi

Joe Eskenazi

Joe Eskenazi was born in San Francisco, raised in the Bay Area, and attended U.C. Berkeley. He never left. "Your humble narrator" was a staff writer and columnist for SF Weekly from 2007 to 2015. He resides in the Excelsior with his wife, 4.3 miles from his birthplace and 5,474 from hers.


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