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Fire! Cougars! Drug busts! Agricultural codpieces! It was the week it was in San Francisco. Here's the resultant quiz.
1. A
front-page headline in Monday's San Francisco Examiner turned heads because:
A. It actually praised Barack Obama
B. It used the word "Janky"
C. A word was misspelled
D. The first letters on each deck were C, R, A, and P
2. While the State Office of Emergency Services requested counties send a "fire strike team" to battle "The Station Fire" in Southern California,
the San Francisco Fire Department declined to do so. What was the department's rationale?
A. Los Angeles didn't send anyone up here in '89. What goes around comes around.
B. Fuck the Dodgers
C. San Francisco couldn't ostensibly spare the fire rigs and protect the city in an emergency
D. The state could not afford the overtime pay for San Francisco firefighters
3. Speaking of "The Station Fire,"
how the hell did anyone choose that name?
A. The fire was set by staff of famed L.A. radio station KROQ
B. The blaze was ignited near a ranger station
C. Firefighters' headquarters are in a rail station
D. The fire was first spotted by Battalion Chief Jim Station
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4. The last time the Bay Bridge was shut down for four-plus days was:
A. During the Labor Day, 2007 project
B. Following the 1989 Loma Prieta Earthquake
C. During a five-day hostage standoff in 1982 with a deranged, gun-wielding man that ended in his suicide
D. Following a light-rail crash in 1955 (Key Route trains ran on the bridge until 1958)
5. Which of these is the cleavage of the woman crowned "Miss Cougar USA" at last weekend's inaugural National Single Cougar Convention in Palo Alto?
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How many pennies will Brad Penny get?
6. A man selling parody T-shirts based on San Francisco Muni line logos
was surprised to get a cease-and-desist letter from:
A. Willie Brown
B. The New York City subway system
C. Amtrak
D. His own mother
7.
SF Weekly's Matt Smith chided locals for their
failure to harvest what bountiful crop from a tree in the Panhandle?
A. Giant orange dildos
B. Marijuana -- in a tree. And no one touched it. Amazing.
C. Delicious Fuji apples
D. Someone hid free tickets to Burning Man up there
8. What percentage of Police Chief George Gascon's
highly-touted and much-publicized "sweep" of 300-odd drug arrests in the Tenderloin were simple "buy-bust" sales to undercover officers?
A. 10 percent
B. 53 percent
C. 86 percent
D. 97 percent
9. San Francisco Assemblywoman Fiona Ma
recently Tweeted about her meeting with Chris Parker, a Democratic candidate for the state Board of Equalization. She noted that he's a tax attorney -- but also mentioned what unusual previous job he held?
A. Manager at Dairy Queen
B. Crime scene cleanup guy
C. Birdseed salesman
D. Used to shovel shit
10. How many pennies will the Giants
pay pitcher Brad Penny this season?
A. 7.5 million
B. 50 million
C. 787 million
D. 1.6 billion
1. C; 2. C; 3. B; 4.B; 5. A; 6.B; 7.A; 8. C. 9. D; 10. A. Cougar photos (of humans) | Daniel C. BrittBrad Penny photo | Keith Allison
