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Thursday, August 6, 2009

(Uh! With Your Drunk Self!) Say It Loud: I'm Blitzed and I'm Proud!

Posted By on Thu, Aug 6, 2009 at 5:30 AM

click to enlarge sobriety_test.jpg
There are many responses to the accusation "You're drunk!"

My personal favorite is to compose yourself, get down off the table, and demonstratively state: "Well, at least I'm something."

Always good for a laugh. Those waiters at the Benihana are still talking about it. But it wouldn't be so much fun if you were driving -- which was the case for a San Francisco motorist who didn't have quite as clever a rejoinder.

On late Tuesday, San Francisco police officers responded to an accident on 22nd and Taraval in which a driver had managed to collide with a parked car. When they asked the motorist if he was was inebriated, he responded with gusto:

"When the officers asked the driver if he had been drinking, he stated an obscenity coupled with Yeh!" reads the incident report.
By the way, Taraval station writes the best incident reports; the other day they noted the arrest of a man who'd threatened to kill his ex-girlfriend's new "consort." We're tickled by the attention to detail evident in noting the inebriate said "Yeh!" and not simply "Yeah!"

In any event, the man failed his field sobriety test and was arrested for drunk driving. Yeh, but at least he's something.

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About The Author

Joe Eskenazi

Joe Eskenazi

Bio:
Joe Eskenazi was born in San Francisco, raised in the Bay Area, and attended U.C. Berkeley. He never left. "Your humble narrator" was a staff writer and columnist for SF Weekly from 2007 to 2015. He resides in the Excelsior with his wife, 4.3 miles from his birthplace and 5,474 from hers.

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