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Tuesday, August 4, 2009

So, Top City Elected Officials Lost 2.45 Percent of Their Salaries? Here's What They Could Have Bought.

Posted By on Tue, Aug 4, 2009 at 9:30 AM

click to enlarge Apparently, even this guy has been forced to give up $4.90 every time he passes "Go"
  • Apparently, even this guy has been forced to give up $4.90 every time he passes "Go"
The official reason that 18 of the city's highest paid elected officials will take a minuscule pay cut was a recent city charter. But you could trace this one back to the Code of Hammurabi. Way down at the end, it states: "If ever the jaw-droppingly paid officials do lean on the unions to give wage concessions, lo, shall they give concessions also." This is right before the part about how an accused adulteress will "jump into the river" for her husband, and those who steal water wheels from the field are out five shekels.

So, the mayor, board of supervisors, and other top electeds are out -- wait for it -- 2.45 percent of their salaries. Both of our major dailies neglected to mention how much money this will save the city. But we have a calculator on our phone, so we can tell you it's $95,939.

You know what the city could do for that kind of money? Well, for starters, we could relieve six-thousands of one percent of the city's debt obligation for the General Hospital rebuild. But it might be more fun to see what each of the elected officials coughing up 2.45 percent of their wages could have done with the dough:

Mayor Gavin Newsom: Out $6,195, he'll now earn $246,690. In material terms, this loss represents 1,241 bottles of L'Oréal Total Control Clean Gel. That would have lasted 14 months.

District Attorney Kamala Harris: Dropped $5,341 to $212,690. Too bad -- Harris could have sprung for 28,110 tickets to the Indian movie supposedly being based on her (if she watched the film in India).

City Attorney Dennis Herrera: Down  $5,176 to  $206,114. Let's just say that if Herrera wasn't intent on shutting down allegedly rampantly corrupt strip club Heaven -- and instead wanted to live it up -- his money would go a long way here.

Sheriff Michael Hennessey: Arrested of $4,902 to $195,218. Since Hennessey supports Assemblyman Tom Ammiano's Marijuana legalization bill, and since that bill would render the cost of a joint at around five bucks, then Hennessey could have afforded to invest in around 980 joints.

Public Defender Jeff Adachi: Minus $4,922 to $196,2003. Jeff could have bought 205 bull horns -- you know, if he and his office ever had to "negotiate" with the mayor and board again.

Assessor-Recorder Phil Ting: Sans $4,087 to $162,743. If we had a nickel for every time Phil Ting mentioned Prop. 13, then he could have brought it up 40,870 times.

Treasurer Jose Cisneros: Taxed $3,983 to $158,619: Since Cisneros' office inadvertently hit up around 1,600 San Francisco businesses for payroll taxes that didn't owe any, the treasurer can emulate Barack Obama and assuage any hard feelings by treating all of them to a Bud Lite.

Any Board of Supervisors Member: Deappropriated $2,417 to $96,243. Man are we tired of making Fairfield jokes.

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About The Author

Joe Eskenazi

Joe Eskenazi

Joe Eskenazi was born in San Francisco, raised in the Bay Area, and attended U.C. Berkeley. He never left. "Your humble narrator" was a staff writer and columnist for SF Weekly from 2007 to 2015. He resides in the Excelsior with his wife, 4.3 miles from his birthplace and 5,474 from hers.


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