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Monday, July 6, 2009

Chronicle's Rapid Weight Loss: New Paper Is Inch Thinner Than Old

Posted By on Mon, Jul 6, 2009 at 12:12 PM

Yes, today's new Chronicle is more than an inch thinner than its prior incarnation
  • Yes, today's new Chronicle is more than an inch thinner than its prior incarnation

Of all the many complaints leveled against the San Francisco Chronicle, "It's too darn wrinkly" never came up with us. And still, there was the Chron proudly announcing the dawn of its "wrinkle-free era" today with papers rolling off the billion-dollar (non-union) Transcontinental presses in Fremont.

We have plenty of thoughts, but here are two first and foremost: If any of the Chron's orgiastic coverage of its own doings mentioned that the new papers are noticeably physically smaller, well, it escaped us. In any event, the new-look Chron is 10.5 inches wide; last week's editions were just shy of a foot wide. Papers growing smaller as a cost-saving measure is not an exclusive Chron story -- but it sure feels disingenuous for the paper to tubthump that its new pages have sharper photos, don't wrinkle up, cure eczema, and are a part of this healthy breakfast and not mention this extraordinarily relevant detail.

We were also struck by the contrast between the in-house infomercial running today -- which lacked only a photo of the paper's management glancing stoically upwards toward a rippling flag -- and John Cote's honest, commendable July 5 story. In that article, Cote bothered to quote the union representatives for the 200 printers being shown the door in this cost-saving, contracting move (don't think for a minute this switcheroo was pulled off with you the reader in mind).  Cote also quoted some of the departing printers -- including, poignantly, 51-year-old Bob White, who said his career prospects were dim: "I'm probably going to be serving burgers at the In-N-Out Burger. I'll probably serve you one day and you won't even know it's me. I'm not kidding. There's nothing out there. Maybe they don't want to hire me because I'm 51, but I'll be the fastest burger-flipper in there."

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Breaking News: State to Pay Out $335K Settlement for Carole Migden's Erratic Driving

Posted By on Mon, Jul 6, 2009 at 11:11 AM

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Boom! There goes another $335K.
The state of California will pay out a $335,000 settlement in the matter of a former senator's case of DWM -- Driving While Migden.

The San Franciscan's much-publicized 2007 highway incident left a 30-mile trail of terrified 911 callers and ended with the veteran politician slamming her state-issued hybrid SUV into the back of 31-year-old Vallejo resident Ellen Butawan's Honda.

Late last month the state signed off on a $335,000 settlement with Butawan, according to Steve Gevercer, the state Department of Justice attorney handling the case on Migden's behalf. While the two parties have agreed in principle, the paperwork has not yet been signed by Solano County Superior Court Judge Scott Kays. 

Migden, currently a member of the state's Integrated Waste Management Board, is rumored to be toying with the notion of running for District 10 supervisor. For a complete list of bus and train lines serving D-10, see 511.org. For residents of D-10 not named Migden, see here.

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SF Gov InAction: The Budget's All finished, Except for the Backstabbing

Posted By on Mon, Jul 6, 2009 at 10:45 AM

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Our story so far: The Supervisors were drinking champagne in City Hall last week after reaching a budget deal that restored an unprecedented amount money to programs that Mayor Gavin "Call me Governor" Newsom cut from San Francisco because he thought it would play well in Fresno. Par-TAY! But then Chris "Cassandra" Daly, the Supervisors' progressive Id, ruined the vibe by going to the budget committee and yelling lines from Jerry Maguire at it. In other cities, people would be surprised by this sort of behavior. In San Francisco, we're just disappointed that he chose a Tom Cruise vehicle. Come on, Daly, where's your support for small, independent cinema? Sellout. But that was last week. This week, everyone's scratching their heads and saying "You know, Daly's got a point: This whole budget deal hinges on the assumption that Gavin Newsom, a man who had an affair with his best friend's wife, will keep his word to six of his political opponents." Oops.

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What the Hell Was John Getzow, Serial Evictee and 'Tenant From Hell,' Doing Hosting a Healthcare Symposium at Glide Memorial Church?

Posted By on Mon, Jul 6, 2009 at 8:30 AM

Getzow's photo on LinkedIn.com
  • Getzow's photo on LinkedIn.com
Last week we reported on how "Dr." John Getzow -- a serial evictee profiled in an SF Weekly cover story -- successfully stiffed the eighth San Francisco landlord to sue him for nonpayment of rent. We speculated we'd see Getzow's name come up again before too long -- and we were right. But we were surprised at where he turned up -- hosting a panel discussion on health care last week held at Glide Memorial Church and featuring a high-ranking city official he'd personally convinced to attend. That's quite a nifty place to be for a man who, just earlier that month, had signed off on a deal in which he walked off owing his landlords $4,500 in back rent -- and they were thrilled just to see him go.

Speakers at the June 27 "Healthcare Reform Event" included Rev. Cecil Williams of Glide and Dr. Mitch Katz, the director of San Francisco's Department of Public Health. How does a serial evictee -- who has claimed to be a doctor yet is not licensed to practice medicine in this state -- convince the city's top doc to come and speak on his panel?

"John came into our office and said he was working in Gavin Newsom's office. He also said he'd been associated with St. Luke's," said Eileen Shields, the spokeswoman for DPH. "John was presenting himself as working with City Hall, and Mitch is the director of health. How could he say no? John Getzow gets that."

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Cabbage? Farts? Cabbage Farts? SFSU's Reticent Corpse Flower Finally Blooms, Sparks Debate as to What Vile Things it Smells Like.

Posted By on Mon, Jul 6, 2009 at 7:30 AM

The corpse flower actually emits some of the compounds secreted by decaying flesh -- as San Franciscan Dana Davis could assure you - JOE ESKENAZI
  • Joe Eskenazi
  • The corpse flower actually emits some of the compounds secreted by decaying flesh -- as San Franciscan Dana Davis could assure you

Click here for a full slideshow of Corpse Flower nastiness goodness.

After throwing off local experts by holding off with the goods for a full week, San Francisco State University's reticent corpse flower burst into bloom on July 4, with a pungent, patriotic display. The fetid odor permeated all four rooms of the SFSU greenhouse, said greenhouse manager Martin Grantham -- and even had passers-by outside and hundreds of feet downwind sniffing the air quizzically and blaming one another for social faux-pas they did not commit.

Grantham later learned that the compounds the plant produces to emit its signature vile odor -- cadaverine and putrescine -- are actually the very chemicals emitted by decaying flesh. They're also mild toxins and all of his greenhouse assistants have succumbed to headaches (and your author is in the midst of haze right now as well).

Three hundred or more people filed through the SFSU greenhouse to get a whiff of the odoriferous plant's first bloom -- which is impressive, as the corpse flower is housed in a cramped corner of a packed room that can only comfortably accommodate about half a person. Visitors were invited to write down what nauseating odor they felt the corpse flower's emissions resembled; suggestions included "A dead rat I found in the trash," "fish," "trash juice," "compost/trash," "vomit," "rotting cabbage," and "my pants." Bet that guy's popular.

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Muni Station Ad Full of Indesipherable Tech Gibberish Makes Us Feel Old

Posted By on Mon, Jul 6, 2009 at 6:30 AM

This ad made us realize we're too old to know what is being discussed here -- or to care - JOE ESKENAZI
  • Joe Eskenazi
  • This ad made us realize we're too old to know what is being discussed here -- or to care

There comes a time in every person's life that you realize that you're no longer in the desired advertising demographic. During the Dark Ages, you figured this out by suddenly becoming dead; folks then didn't live so long. Now, however, it's less objectionable. It comes to you when you note that advertisements -- and overheard snippets of young 'n' fun folks' conversations -- don't make any goddamn sense.

So we had to realize we've made the transition when we saw the above blurb in a "Monster Hunter" videogame ad at the Church Street Muni station. Simply put, this doesn't make any goddamn sense to us; none of these jargony abbreviations is familiar.

Please, don' t lecture us that all the answers are available via a quick Google search: Here's another symptom of growing older -- you don't care to know such things. No knock on videogame enthusiasts: We're not mocking you, please continue to play your handheld games on the train or at the laundromat instead of reading our newspaper or any of the classic works of literature. Your time will come, too. Perhaps the ad that stumps you will be completely composed of three-letter abbreviations.

Time marches on and we are helpless but to be carried along, sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans PSP, sans everything.

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Is Chris Daly the Chief Martin Brody of San Francisco Politics?

Posted By on Mon, Jul 6, 2009 at 12:01 AM


Imagine, if you will, that Supervisor Chris Daly is Police Chief Martin Brody. We'll let you figure out who, in this analogy, the toothy fellow behind him is.
  • Imagine, if you will, that Supervisor Chris Daly is Police Chief Martin Brody. We'll let you figure out who, in this analogy, the toothy fellow behind him is.
Examples of Chris Daly behaving boorishly in the Board of Supervisors' chambers and embarrassing even his friends are as myriad as instances of  folks in Daly's district behaving boorishly on the streets of the Tenderloin and embarrassing their friends. So when the District 6 supe publicly berated his pal and protege Supervisor John Avalos last week for supposedly getting played by the mayor's minions -- after the latter was the supes' lead man in sealing a budget deal -- it was easy to shrug it off as more Daly histrionics.

Yet over the Fourth of July weekend -- a holiday that played a critical, even deadly part in the seminal film Jaws -- it dawned on us that this was something more. Chris Daly is like Police Chief Martin Brody of Amity Island warning his fellow citizens and government officials what will happen to them if they dare go back in the water. Could Brody have made his arguments more persuasively? Yes. Did anyone listen to him? No. Was he right? Yes.

It remains to be seen if Daly is right about his warning -- that Mayor Gavin Newsom will, as he has in the past, simply refuse to spend much of the money allotted to  programs "spared" through the Board of Supervisors' "add-backs." Daly's argument seems to be that Newsom has pulled the rug out from under the supes, repeatedly, in the past -- and, for that matter, the statewide voters whom Gavin is wooing won't give a damn about if he pulls a complex, only-in-San Francisco maneuver a few months down the road to stiff some local poor people. They'll only see the phrase "balanced budget" and Newsom's telegenic visage. Actually, that sounds like a pretty good argument. Daly must lead the league in solid contentions presented in such a way that folks only remember his disagreeable behavior.

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  • clipping at Brava Theater Sept. 11
    Sub Pop recording artists 'clipping.' brought their brand of noise-driven experimental hip hop to the closing night of 2016's San Francisco Electronic Music Fest this past Sunday. The packed Brava Theater hosted an initially seated crowd that ended the night jumping and dancing against the front of the stage. The trio performed a set focused on their recently released Sci-Fi Horror concept album, 'Splendor & Misery', then delved into their dancier and more aggressive back catalogue, and recent single 'Wriggle'. Opening performances included local experimental electronic duo 'Tujurikkuja' and computer music artist 'Madalyn Merkey.'"