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Monday, June 22, 2009

Police Blotter: Stop and Assault the Flowers

Posted By on Mon, Jun 22, 2009 at 12:45 PM


From one of our favorite police station newsletters, the Taraval edition, comes the following story of an environmental terrorist.

A man was confronted on Thursday, June 18 at 6:23 p.m. "Destroying plants in front of a residence." This scourge of vegetation was confronted, remarkably, by a total of five officers. You just don't mess with the plants in a city whose bus shelters have living roofs.

Once apprehended, the suspect told the officers, "I am sorry, I was mad and took it out on the flowers." Apparently there were no kittens around to kick, or babies from whose mouths to rip lollipops.

The person was cited for malicious mischief. And flowers everywhere are wary that the stakes have been raised from the days of mere flora-mutilating games of "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not."

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Andy Wright


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