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Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Police Commission Confirms Three Chief Hopefuls, Mayor Expected to Make Swift Choice

Posted By on Wed, Jun 10, 2009 at 7:37 PM

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Police Commission President Theresa Sparks announced Wednesday she had forwarded to the mayor the names of three finalists in the race to replace retiring police chief Heather Fong.

"My perception, and this is just a guess, that the process will now move very quickly," said Sparks, following a closed hearing in which the Commission voted to refer to the mayor three names, which are being kept secret. "The Commission spent 49 hours interviewing, meeting with community members. It's been a clean process."

Fong, who will retire when her successor is chosen, leaves a department some insiders say is demoralized by an aloof administration more concerned with internal politics and outside PR than actually solving crime. 

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Guardian and SF Weekly Cover Art Oddly In Sync

Posted By on Wed, Jun 10, 2009 at 4:58 PM

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Photographer Michael Rauner brought this photo (which he took) to our attention today, and we can't decide what's more amazing. The alignment of the photos or the eerie synergy of the text.

Note: The Guardian still sucks.  

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Bizarre Craigslist Barter of the Week: Elvis Love Triangle

Posted By on Wed, Jun 10, 2009 at 3:30 PM



Most of us wander the Earth lost and forlorn, adrift in an uncaring sea without love to buoy us. It's a strange and wondrous thing, then, when a quick perusal of the Craigslist barter section reveals three seemingly unrelated individuals with the capacity to fulfill one another's desires.

Poster No. 1 has some pretty unremarkable greetings cards up for grabs. Think straw hats and teddy bears, and not particularly well-drawn ones, at that. These cards say, "Mom, I don't really care." In exchange for these cards, he would like (among other things) Three Stooges paraphernalia, cans of nuts, or "Elvis stuff."

Enter Poster No. 2.

He has a "beautiful wooden Elvis wall clock" to barter. Ok, so he wants a T-Mobile phone for it, but that seems incidental in light of the circumstances.

And finally, Poster No. 3 arrives on the scene: 

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Three Courthouse Guards Allege Sex, Drugs, and Weapon-Related Violations Inside San Francisco's Northern District Court

Posted By on Wed, Jun 10, 2009 at 2:00 PM

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Three guards employed by Akal Security, a prominent New Mexico-based corporation that contracts with federal courthouses around the country, are making some pretty shocking claims about their employer and workplace -- the Northern District Court in San Francisco.

Their complaint, filed recently in San Francisco Superior Court, says that inside the glistening walls of the federal courthouse at 450 Golden Gate Avenue, all kinds of safety violations involving weapons, drugs, sex and even illegal sales of pirated DVDs have gone down. 

More specifically, the three plaintiffs allege:

  • on-the-clock use of alcohol and narcotics by court security officers;
  • officers allowing some people (including a convicted felon) entry into the building without passing through the security check;
  • an officer engaging in sexual relations with a federal employee while on the job;
  • an intoxicated officer waving his firearm in the air;
  • rampant use -- and sharing -- of prescription narcotics by several guards;
  • delivery of an assault weapon to an officer who had ordered it for personal use;
  • sales of pirated DVD films in the courthouse.

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Goth Pre-Teens Around the World Shudder: 'Emily The Strange' Creators Sued In Federal Court for Copyright Infringement

Posted By on Wed, Jun 10, 2009 at 1:01 PM

Hmmmm.....
  • Hmmmm.....
The intrigue around Emily the Strange copycat debate has intensified. Last month, the Berkeley-based producers of the international goth hero, whose likeness graces many a T-shirt and comic book, filed a preemptive lawsuit in federal court in San Francisco. The company, Cosmic Debris, asked for injunctive relief against being sued by the creators of the "Nate the Great" 1970s-era children's book series, whose character Rosamond had an uncanny resemblance to Emily the Strange. Read our article on the lawsuit here.

At the time, Cosmic Debris wouldn't comment about whether they had been threatened with a lawsuit, and the author of "Nate the Great," Marjorie Weinman Sharmat, remained coy about whether she had pending litigation.

But now the other goth-girl Mary Jane shoe has dropped. A lawsuit filed in Sharmat's home state of Arizona clarifies just what Cosmic Debris was trying to head off with its preemptive strike. The new lawsuit brought by Sharmat, now 80, and 94-year old "Nate the Great" illustrator Marc Simont, claims copyright infringement, alleging "Every depiction of 'Emily the Strange' includes copyrighted and protectable elements from Plaintiffs' Rosamond character, including but not limited to, Emily's short dress, dark hair with long square-cut bangs, 'mary jane' shoes, 'posse' of four black cats, persistent strangeness, and fascination with dark themes."

They additionally ask for the court to order the Emily creators to stop copying and republishing Emily the Strange merchandise without consent.


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Stung: Ingleside Station Cops Issue 123 Citations, Arrest 10 In Crosswalk Crackdown

Posted By on Wed, Jun 10, 2009 at 11:15 AM

HTTP://WWW.OLD-CANS.COM/EN/CARMAGEDDON/
  • http://www.old-cans.com/en/carmageddon/
Yesterday, SF Weekly noted that the police at San Francisco's Ingleside Station were planning a sting aimed at busting motorists who don't stop for pedestrians -- and the cops were even generous enough to list the intersections and times of day they'd be out stinging and busting.

Apparently, at least 123 San Franciscans do not read this Web page. Police -- who sent plainclothes officers waddling into the streets to act as pedestrians -- yesterday cited that many drivers who failed to stop. Additionally, 10 motorists were arrested for misdemeanors such as driving with a suspended license -- or no license at all. (SF Weekly covered an April pedestrian sting held by the Taraval Station cops at Sloat and Everglade.)

Tuesday's sting(s) were held at five intersections chosen based upon complaints levied by local denizens regarding maniacal drivers:

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Trends Come In Threes -- So When Will Next Out-of-Control Animal or Comically Named Villain Menace San Francisco?

Posted By on Wed, Jun 10, 2009 at 8:30 AM


Journalists in search of trend stories are always waiting for that third shoe to drop -- because then you've found a three-footed man and, hey, that's a story!

The notion that the third time something happens marks a trend may well trace to "the rule of three," a longstanding quirk of Western culture. Examples of groupings of three abound (from the Holy Trinity to the Three Little Pigs to the Three Stooges) and the "rule" explains why story structures, slogans, titles, jokes, and just about any list seem to naturally "work" when divided into three parts.

In any event, our anticipation of events occurring in triplicate causes our attention to pique whenever a pair of similar events take place in a short period of time. So, after viewing the above video of a maniacal bird dive-bombing Financial District pedestrians and reading about the horse that ran wild along the Embarcadero, one must wonder: When will a third frantic creature terrorize San Francisco?

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Junk Mail Solicitation of the Day: Save $10K on My Wedding? Tell Me More!

Posted By on Wed, Jun 10, 2009 at 7:30 AM

But see how much money they saved?
  • But see how much money they saved?
When the suffix of your e-mail address is "@NameOfaNewspaper.com" you get a lot of amazing solicitations by truly desperate PR mavens. We've lost count of how many deluded souls thought you, the readers, would be clamoring for stories about contact paper one can apply to a toilet seat to create an Evel Knievel-like stars-and-stripes motif, interviews with random folks claiming the world will end based upon ancient Mayan prophecies, or articles explaining how to engorge various portions of one's anatomy -- and discharge certain bodily fluids further than a kangaroo can leap.

Maybe you would be interested in that after all. Anyhow, when the latest junk solicitation -- in all-caps -- told us how our readers could "SAVE $10,000 ON YOUR WEDDING!" we took note.

What can we say? Our solutions of: A. Don't get married; B. City Hall, Vacaville, and; C. Take over a house of worship by force and compel the priest/rabbi/imam to marry you at gunpoint would save you the money, too. But let's see what this is all about:

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Department of D'oh: Hearing Dog Program Releases Promotional Video -- Neglects to Add Captions For Benefit of Hard-of-Hearing

Posted By on Wed, Jun 10, 2009 at 6:30 AM


Not long ago, we wrote about San Francisco's Hearing Dog Program, a recently formed nonprofit staffed by the folks who used to run the SPCA's program (until it was essentially disbanded last year). The Hearing Dog Program recently lost its legal dogfight with the SPCA to claim a $500,000 bequest -- but, last month, still managed to graduate its first class of meticulously trained hearing dogs.

The above video demonstrates just what those dogs can do -- and is intended to raise the organization's profile and catch the attention of the hard-of-hearing that a dog may be able to assist them around the home and out of doors. So, it was a bit strange that the video was released sans captions -- so its intended audience couldn't, you know, understand what's going on.

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What the Hell Is Guardian Thinking With Newsom-Police Chief-District 6 Love Triangle?

Posted By on Wed, Jun 10, 2009 at 5:30 AM

Pose with the mayor and he'll support your run for higher office. It's the law.
  • Pose with the mayor and he'll support your run for higher office. It's the law.
Anyone who ever languished through a Rhetoric 1A course in college knows the joys of syllogisms: We won't delve into the ins and outs, but we do recall a few examples of spectacularly bad logic, along the lines of: A. My father is bald; B. Ben Franklin was bald; C. Therefore, my father was Ben Franklin.

This manner of thinking was jarringly brought to mind when I read an article on the San Francisco Bay Guardian's politics blog yesterday postulating that since Tenderloin activist David Villa-Lobos' one-man band, the Community Leadership Alliance, has been pushing for Susan Manheimer to succeed Police Chief Heather Fong, and since the Chronicle quoted unnamed sources touting the race as Manheimer's to lose, then Gavin Newsom may support Villa-Lobos for District 6 Supervisor.

The reason this logic is so bizarre is that the Guardian's article goes on to state exactly why Manheimer is an attractive candidate to nearly everyone involved: She's a 16-year veteran of the San Francisco Police Department -- which makes the Police Officers Association happy.  But, as chief of the San Mateo Police Department, she's also an "outsider" -- which makes Gavin Newsom happy. Also, left unsaid in the Guardian article, she's a woman. Think that doesn't factor in? So, with all that going for her, what the hell does it matter that Villa-Lobos gave her his blessing? Apparently it doesn't, as the article quickly abandons all attempts at any manner of logic and states that Newsom may well support Villa-Lobos' supervisorial run because -- and this is not a joke -- Villa-Lobos has a picture of himself with the mayor on his organization's Web site. This is a genuinely baffling statement; your humble narrator has a photo of his youthful self with Snow White, but Disney isn't writing yours truly any letters of recommendation. 

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