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Thursday, May 14, 2009

Go Deep: Don't Miss Your Chance to Name S.F. Squad in Nascent United Football League

Posted By on Thu, May 14, 2009 at 5:30 AM

click to enlarge The UFL, and its sexual logo, are coming!
  • The UFL, and its sexual logo, are coming!
The term "San Francisco Values" gets bandied about a lot these days. And, since the question "What are 'San Francisco Values'" is nearly always a rhetorical ploy to push your own values or bash your opponents' it'd be nice to have an inarguable answer: "The San Francisco Values are facing fourth-and-long on their own 47."

Launching a lower-tier professional sports league in this economic climate sounds like the kind of self-flagellation you'd pay good money to watch at -- but, no, investors Bill Hambrecht and Paul Pelosi (who should legally change his name to That Paul Pelosi) have plunked down more than $50 million in hopes their four-team, seven-city (not a typo) United Football League will entice those with a thirst for pro football to head to AT&T Park or tune in on the Versus network.

Team names have not yet been announced -- and league consultant Rachel Gary isn't sure if the league is still taking submissions. But the link on the UFL Web site is still active -- so we encourage every San Franciscan to emulate the folks at government meetings' public comment sessions and make your voices heard whether you have anything to say or not!

So, our submission for the local team's name -- the San Francisco Values! Got a good idea? Send it to the league here, and comment on this post! Other ideas we've hatched:

The San Francisco Emperors (and protectors of Mexico);

The San Francisco Milk-Men;

The San Francisco Doughboys;

The San Francisco Leathermen;

The San Francisco Committee of Vigilance;

The San Francisco Burritos;

The San Francisco Activists;

The San Francisco 48ers (almost certain lawsuit -- but good for publicity!)

The San Francisco Muni-Raiders (how about two lawsuits?)

Personally, I'm a Values voter myself -- but we'd love to hear your great ideas. Go ... team!

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About The Author

Joe Eskenazi

Joe Eskenazi

Joe Eskenazi was born in San Francisco, raised in the Bay Area, and attended U.C. Berkeley. He never left. "Your humble narrator" was a staff writer and columnist for SF Weekly from 2007 to 2015. He resides in the Excelsior with his wife, 4.3 miles from his birthplace and 5,474 from hers.


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