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Friday, April 24, 2009

Shaun Hill Named 49ers Starting QB -- On Team of Russian Nesting Dolls

Posted By on Fri, Apr 24, 2009 at 10:01 AM

Pryvet, Shaun!
  • Pryvet, Shaun!
Alex Smith may have the big contract -- but they don't know him at the market near the Cathedral of the Resurrection a shovel pass from the Griboyedov Canal. A jaw-dropping set of San Francisco 49ers nesting dolls purchased in St. Petersburg (not Florida) and handed off to your humble narrator features Shaun Hill as the big nester (look at that face! Did you ever think the 49ers' unlikely quarterback would be depicted in Russian art?).

The hand-painted "SF" on the helmets and non-uniform qualities of the uniforms could lead one to believe that the creators of these matryoshka dolls are not paying the NFL any licensing agreements. A quick glance at Hill's internalized teammates reveals the Russian craftsmen aren't reading up on NFL roster moves, either.

Who's that inside Shaun Hill? Why, its:

Jesus, who is that? It appears to be running back Thomas Clayton (who has never taken a snap for the team and no longer wears No. 35). What did Frank Gore do to deserve this snub?
Next comes backup RB Michael Robinson (seriously, is Gore the most hated man in St. Petersburg?). After that it appears to be reserve tight end Delanie Walker (but he's wearing Josh Morgan's number), and, finally wide receiver Ashley Lelie -- who was cut off the Niners last year and played for Oakland.

It remains to be seen whether the nesting doll version of coach Mike Singletary will look over this motley crew and declare he "can't nest with them, can't coach them."

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About The Author

Joe Eskenazi

Joe Eskenazi

Joe Eskenazi was born in San Francisco, raised in the Bay Area, and attended U.C. Berkeley. He never left. "Your humble narrator" was a staff writer and columnist for SF Weekly from 2007 to 2015. He resides in the Excelsior with his wife, 4.3 miles from his birthplace and 5,474 from hers.


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