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Monday, April 6, 2009

Examiner Poses S.F. Giants' Bossman In Front of Ratty, Scorched Ballfield

Posted By on Mon, Apr 6, 2009 at 11:59 AM

It appears someone has been smoking grass -- literally... - SCREEN CAPTURE   |   SAN FRANCISCO EXAMINER
  • Screen Capture | San Francisco Examiner
  • It appears someone has been smoking grass -- literally...

There are angles, we are certain, from which photographers can capture Jessica Alba unflatteringly, or make a Ferrari appear slow. We know it can be done, because the above shot from the Weekend Examiner has accomplished the unthinkable and captured AT&T Park looking like Max Yasgur's dairy farm after the Flower Children were done with it.

Now, this is no knock on the the photographer -- keen observers will note that there's no infield dirt over Bill Neukom's shoulder, so perhaps this is what concerts/tractor pulls/Agent Orange Appreciation Day does to the ball yard's emerald carpet. That being said, if, say, a blimp plunged from the sky into left-center field creating a hellish vision of white-hot, gnarled wreckage and flaming survivors writhing in agony -- that, too, would make for a poor photo backdrop. In fact, as you can see below, the Examiner's print edition features the same shot of Neukom as a tight closeup, obscuring the Dust Bowl imagery behind him:

  • Screen Capture | San Francisco Examiner

Incidentally, regarding Neukom -- am I the only one who keeps thinking this man is going to try to sell me popcorn every time I see him?


being said, an alarming number of men would probably enjoy dressing

like this -- but for the fact their wives/girlfriends hit them with the

all-time deflating statement: "You're not going to wear that out of the

house, are you?"

"No, honey. I was just going to wear this inside. I'll change now."  

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About The Author

Joe Eskenazi

Joe Eskenazi

Joe Eskenazi was born in San Francisco, raised in the Bay Area, and attended U.C. Berkeley. He never left. "Your humble narrator" was a staff writer and columnist for SF Weekly from 2007 to 2015. He resides in the Excelsior with his wife, 4.3 miles from his birthplace and 5,474 from hers.


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