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Wednesday, April 1, 2009

SF Receives Dubious Accolade from Dude Bro Web Site

Posted By on Wed, Apr 1, 2009 at 1:59 PM

click to enlarge san_francisco.jpg

Ah, The Web site that boasts articles in their Dating and Sex section like "Why Being Nice Doesn't Work & More" and "Popping the Question to Her Father" (because everyone knows women are just chattel that get shuffled from Daddy to hubby!) Making fun of a Web site so unapologetically sexist and goofy is sort of like cracking wise about the shape of Coit Tower, but they went and compiled a list of the top cities to live in and gave a nod to San Francisco, leaving us no choice.

The "Top 29: Best Cities to Live In" was posted Tuesday and San Francisco landed the coveted No. 3 spot. We were surpassed only by Barcelona and Chicago, beat both London and New York, and Atlanta didn't even make the list. (In your face!) Cities were evaluated in a number of categories, including the vague (possibly meaningless) "The Good Life" and "Money and Power." And of course, no assessment would be complete without ham-handed commentary on the quality of women available. How do the women of San Francisco stack up? Pretty good!

"The city's boy-to-girl ratio (male: 51%; female: 49%) doesn't seem

promising at first, but remember this is San Francisco, so you can

shave a good 8% to 10% off the competition right there. Be advised that

women here are the cream of the brain trust -- San Francisco was named

one of the top 10 smartest cities by Forbes last year -- so the kind of 'hey baby' come-on that works in L.A. or Miami Beach ain't gonna work here."

Remember, this is San Francisco! WINK! WINK! Gay males live here! And the most important thing about our gay male population is that they don't hit on women that straight men could be sleeping with. At least, that's the message I took away from Milk. Also, our women are totally smart, according to the scientists at Forbes, not like the addlepated floozies flipping their hair populating  the streets of L.A. and Miami. Oddly enough, "stupid girls" was not one of the selling points for either of those cities, both of which made the list. In fact, Los Angeles, which ranked No. 19, is billed as attracting, "...many beautiful, intelligent and most importantly single women from all parts of the country." Huh.

Oh yes, and if you need a "night away from the ladies" while in SF,  you can go to a jazz club, cigar, or scotch bar. Because when women listen to jazz it sounds like the high keening of an angry whale and scotch turns to sand in our mouths.

Readers of Don't move here. Really. You'll hate it.

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Andy Wright


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