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Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Early Nominee for San Francisco's Vaguest Crime of 2009 (Booze and Bullets Prominently Involved)

Posted By on Tue, Mar 17, 2009 at 5:30 AM

click to enlarge Robbed ... somewhere ... by somebody ... somehow.
  • Robbed ... somewhere ... by somebody ... somehow.
The San Francisco Police Department is often raked over the coals for its failure to solve -- or even attempt to solve -- a number of the city's crimes.

But sometimes you've got to give the Boys in Blue a break. Take the following case reported at 11 p.m. on Sunday night.

A 45-year-old man took a cab ride from a bar with a 21-year-old man he met there to the younger fellow's home. Once there, the 21-year-old brandished a pistol, causing the older man to run and lock himself in the bathroom (an unusual M.O., to take someone back to your place to rob them -- but this gets weirder). The young man fired shots through the bathroom door, and the victim scrambled out a window. Some time later, the victim walked through the doors of San Francisco Southern Police Station at 850 Bryant. Somehow, he was short some money, making this a robbery. For those scoring at home, the victim:
  • Did not know what bar he met the suspect in other than it was near Jones and O'Farrell;
  • Did not know anything about the cab in which they traveled to the suspect's home, including the length of the ride;
  • Did not know the suspect's neighborhood, let alone his address;
  • Did not know how he came to straggle through the doors of Southern Station or how long before the robbery had taken place;
  • Did not know how he came to lose his money.   
"Alcohol is considered a factor in this," said police spokeswoman Sgt. Lyn Tomioka -- who really may have missed her true calling as a straight woman in a comedy act -- think Margaret Dumont in a blue uniform. The victim was "Coherent enough to fill out a police report."

We'll see what the boys in the crime lab turn up.

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About The Author

Joe Eskenazi

Joe Eskenazi

Joe Eskenazi was born in San Francisco, raised in the Bay Area, and attended U.C. Berkeley. He never left. "Your humble narrator" was a staff writer and columnist for SF Weekly from 2007 to 2015. He resides in the Excelsior with his wife, 4.3 miles from his birthplace and 5,474 from hers.


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