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Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Will Rec & Park Department Beware the Brides of March?

Posted By on Wed, Mar 11, 2009 at 3:30 PM

Blushing brides - FELIPE BUITRAGO
  • Felipe Buitrago
  • Blushing brides

Newcomers to San Francisco quickly learn that pulling dubious stunts in public is about as essential a part of this city's character as Dungeness crab, Giants games, or self-entitled, ultra-liberal smugness. Whether it's tomato fights, pie-throwing, zombie proms, or no-pants train rides, San Franciscans love to join together in the sorts of antics you may have seen sorority pledges performing once a semester on your college campus. And why not? After all, this stuff is kinda fun.

Unless you're the poor schlep who gets to clean up. As the San Francisco Chronicle reported earlier this week, city officials say their patience is wearing thin with so-called "flash mob" events, and may crack down on particularly messy gatherings, such as the Valentine's Day pillow fight. So where does that leave the next flash mob get-together on the calendar -- the Brides of March?

This Saturday, March 14, a bunch of men and women wearing bridal attire will meet up for their 11th annual shopping-and-drinking caper through the city. The event's organizer, a 62-year-old man named Michele Michele, says he's aware of the city's concerns about flash mob events but that the Brides are an orderly crew. "We certainly love to keep our dresses pristine, as much as possible," he said. "I don't think the city has anything to be worried about, frankly. This is part of what makes San Francisco so interesting."

Michele said he hasn't fielded any calls or e-mails from city parks officials. We called Lisa Seitz Gruwell, spokesperson for the Recreation and Park Department, to see what she thinks. No word back yet.

Photo courtesy of Michele Michele.

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San Francisco Planning Director Says Employee Offering Him Free Place to Live Played No Part in Her Promotion

Posted By on Wed, Mar 11, 2009 at 2:10 PM

Planning Director John Rahaim - HTTP://CHARITY.SFGOV.ORG
  • http://charity.sfgov.org
  • Planning Director John Rahaim
While gestures of extreme kindness toward the boss may not earn one raises or promotions -- they usually can't hurt. Last year, after Planning Director John Rahaim was famously burned out of the the Dennis T. Sullivan Memorial Fire Chief's Home, longtime city planner Kelley Amdur offered him a rent-free stay in a condo owned by her father -- and he accepted. Last week, Rahaim, who says he lived in the condo for about a month, announced Amdur had been promoted to Director of Neighborhood Planning.

A source within the Planning Department told SF Weekly that "it went around the department that the building John was in was owned by Kelley's parents." A number of workers -- apparently mistakenly --  believe that Rahaim is still living there.

The planning director told SF Weekly that he has since relocated, and added that his sojourn in the condo was not a factor in his decision to promote Amdur: "She's excellent at what she does, she's been in the department for 10 years, and she's highly regarded with the folks in the community." Amdur, whose voicemail message says she is out of town, could not be reached for comment.

Within inter-office e-mails between city planners obtained by SF Weekly

and in follow-up interviews, department employees and those familiar

with the department referred positively to Amdur as "capable" -- but were

puzzled by the lack of disclosure.

Rahaim said he "was not aware I needed to" disclose the apartment stay -- though he subsequently called back and noted that he had been informed that he is required to make the disclosure. He promised to do so by the end of the month on his Statement of Economic Interest form, housed at the Ethics Commission.


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All Polled: We're Totally Contented and, Like, Totally Depressed

Posted By on Wed, Mar 11, 2009 at 11:59 AM

well_being.jpg
A recently released Gallup Poll attempts to rate the vague notion of "well-being," breaking down the rankings state by state and congressional district by Congressional district. California ranked on the happier end of the well-being index, and our neighbors in Congressional District 14 -- encompassing what is popularly known as Silicon Valley -- were the most well beings in the country, according to the poll. The district's representative, Anna Eshoo, told the Chronicle that the area's high spirits can be attributed to a nice climate and scenery: "Is there a better place for magnificent weather -- with the Bay on one

side, and the Pacific Ocean on the other, and the magnificent parts of

the California coast?...People

value the land there and they've worked hard for generations to protect

it. The environment is not an issue here - it's valued, cherished ...

and sustained by each generation." Oh, yeah -- they also have one of the highest median family incomes in the country. But that's probably second to the bitchin' landscape.

San Francisco, which falls within Congressional District 8, ranked high, too. The poll takes into account not just health, but social and mental contentment as well. So California, and the Bay Area, appear to be totally stoked on life! Except that, uh, a record number of Californians also think our state is totally in the toilet. Huh.

Continue reading »

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Adachi Straps Brick to Accelerator in Game of Budget Chicken With Mayor

Posted By on Wed, Mar 11, 2009 at 8:59 AM

Jeff Adachi personally showed up for this photo, too
  • Jeff Adachi personally showed up for this photo, too
After last week grumbling to SF Weekly that Mayor Gavin Newsom had welshed on his promise to provide a "couple of attorneys" to staff the city's fledgling Community Justice Center, Public Defender Jeff Adachi has resorted to theatrically ridiculing the mayor's pet court. Adachi may have crossed the Rubicon in his relationship with the mayor's office -- or perhaps that die was cast long ago -- when he yesterday showed up to staff the CJC himself -- and act as bailiff.

As recounted in a literally jaw-dropping article -- my jaw dropped at least -- in this morning's Chronicle, Adachi showed up at the Polk Street court in person, proclaiming every other attorney on his staff was too busy to make the date. When -- once again -- none of the scheduled defendants deigned to show up at the court, Adachi offered to personally track one woman down. As noted in the article:

Dariush Kayhan, the mayor's homelessness policy director, was at the court and said the woman hangs out on Grove Street. He said he has offered her assistance more than 30 times, but she's turned him down.

Adachi asked the judge for permission to try himself. He found her and sat down on the sidewalk in his black suit and lavender silk tie to talk to her, prompting stares from passers-by. She agreed to head to the court with him, carrying all of her belongings.


If Adachi is out to make the mayor, his staff, and the court Newsom single-mindedly pursued (despite large-scale objections, budget defundings, and vetoes) appear ridiculous, well, put in the order for the "Mission Accomplished" banner right now (will Adachi next don a jumpsuit and mop up the CJC?). It's a reasonable bet that palms are slapping tables in City Hall Room 200 today.

In the past, SF Weekly has asked Adachi just what he's thinking engaging in an increasingly bitter and public feud with Newsom and his allies over funding for the public defender's office; while the mayor has mandated each department head hand in a budget slashed 25 percent from this year's, only Adachi refused. Each time we've asked, the public defender has kept to his script: He insists that only his office is "constitutionally mandated" to do what it does -- meaning that if his lawyers took fewer cases, he'd be required to farm out the leftovers to private lawyers, who charge more.

This latest move, however, is a master stroke of political theater; all Adachi neglected to do was tote a large puppet into the courtroom. Jeff, you know our number -- what are you thinking?

Photo   |   Steve Rhodes
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Earthquake or Amorous Roommates? Settle it Once and For All.

Posted By on Wed, Mar 11, 2009 at 7:30 AM

What's shaking -- literally.
  • What's shaking -- literally.
As someone who has, for his entire existence, lived atop an earthquake fault and in buildings where "insulation" translates to "put on a sweater," the question posed in the headline has come up dozens of times. Was that the San Andreas Fault -- or Sam and Andreas upstairs?

Thankfully, however, the United States Geological Survey long ago produced this Web site that definitively reveals whether you'd have been better off ducking under the bed or thumping a broomstick on the ceiling.

This site tracks every known earthquake fault in the San Francisco area, and notes recent activity with size- and color-coded markers. The bigger the tab, the bigger the quake. And yellow, blue, and red indicate whether the temblor was recorded in the last week, day, or hour.

And, if the disturbance was indeed due to amorous neighbors -- and you wish to, say, force them onto a skiff and push it into the ocean -- then the same site comes equipped with a to-the-minute page charting Bay wind patterns.  

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Does 'CHP' Stand for 'Can't Help Punning'?

Posted By on Wed, Mar 11, 2009 at 6:30 AM

Y'know Ponch, if Marshall McLuhan is right and 'The medium is the message' -- then any advice we give to high school kids probably won't be received warmly
  • Y'know Ponch, if Marshall McLuhan is right and 'The medium is the message' -- then any advice we give to high school kids probably won't be received warmly
Poor California Highway Patrol -- they just want us to drive safely, be considerate, and, would it kill us to occasionally compliment them on their tan tops-tan pants ensemble? And yet, once again, a well-meaning message from the CHP has induced snorts of unintended laughter.

A little while back we wrote about how the CHP's sobriety on Super Bowl Sunday message (good idea) was laden down with vile football-related puns ("A DUI is no 5-yard-penalty..." That was about as apropos as the erectile dysfunction Super Bowl ad featuring Mike Ditka tossing a football through a tire swing and bellowing "Oh yes!" In short: Bad idea).

Now the CHP is announcing an "exciting new program" aimed at highlighting teenage drivers' propensity to smash up their vehicles, titled -- no joke -- "Impact Teen Drivers." Is it just us, or is it in bad taste to attempt to curtail fatal collisions with a program whose name is a double-entendre for collisions?

I'm not qualified to rate the efficacy of teenage marketing materials -- the music is too loud and I'm too old. But text noting that teachers are given props such as a "probability wheel" which "intrigues teens" actually induced an urge to hide beneath my desk. There's an art to acknowledging that teenagers are naive fools without being condescending to them.

So, with utter sincerity, best of luck to the CHP, teachers, and others in keeping teen drivers alive. Yet if this program is really captivating teens as it claims to -- well, I'd be intrigued.    


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Lawsuit Cocktail: Costco Sued For Allegedly Skimping on Shrimp

Posted By on Wed, Mar 11, 2009 at 5:30 AM

Retail giant Costco -- the big box store that stoked America's Brobdingnagian appetite for eight-packs of cereal, 40-unit boxes of AA batteries, and mayonnaise jars the size of R2-D2 -- is being sued. The charge: Shorting its shrimp.

A class action suit filed in New York City accuses Costco of systematically serving only 13 or 14 ounces of shrimp in its supposedly one-pound (16 ounce) cocktail shrimp platters. When you tabulate  the money Costco has allegedly saved by doling out imaginary shrimp -- it adds up. The suit claims the store's shrimp-purchasing customers are being bilked out of between $13.32 million and $39.97 million a year.

In addition to compensatory damages, disgorgement, and/or restitution, the plaintiffs are seeking an injunction which would forbid Costco from selling the shrimp platters until they are relabeled (perhaps the first shrimp-related injunction since a close friend walked out of the middle of Forrest Gump and refused to watch another Tom Hanks movie for five years). 

A call to San Francisco's Costco revealed that a pound of shrimp will run you $9.99. When asked if anyone had ever complained that there was less than a pound of shrimp in the platter, a meat department employee laughed and replied, "Naaaaaaah."

H/T   |   Courthouse News

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